Tag Archives: woman in their 30’s

project 30 – rachel

12 Aug

 

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Rachel, 33

What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?

I used to think I would want to tell her it gets better but now that it actually has gotten better I realize I wouldn’t want her to change any of her emotionally extreme or indulgent ways. I spent a good part of my 20’s heartbroken and lovesick. Whether I was getting over a break up or deeply falling in love with someone I always felt heartbroken. In retrospect I know that I had to work through a lot of emotions and traumas. Karmically I was attracted to certain people who allowed me to work through those emotions and come to a deeper understanding of myself which ultimately allowed me to truly love myself. So I think if I were to go back and tell that innocent lovesick girl that it gets better, firstly she wouldn’t believe me and even if she did I wouldn’t want to take any of the pain away from her because it allowed me to become who I am today. So with all that said I think I would tell her to travel more and write in her journal everyday and not just when it suited her.

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

I wish I had saved more money and learned the value of saving and not spending. It’s still something I’m working on. I also wish I had developed a more serious workout regime when my body was more willing to adapt.

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

I might have said heartbreak at one point but now I wouldn’t give that up for anything. I did take myself and my work very seriously then and I still do now but I think it gave me the drive to accomplish what I did, so I guess I don’t have any regrets when it comes to that.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

Walking around the streets of St. Petersburg Russia in the dead of winter while trying to get over a broken heart. I know it sounds morbid but it was a really beautiful time in my life and having that kind of really pure solitude allowed me to learn how to be my own best friend. It was an extraordinary adventure.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

I thought I would be living in New York city happily married with 2 kids making films and playing music. I’m still doing writing, directing, acting and playing music but I’m in Los Angeles and waiting for the day when I can make a living solely from my work.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

I still am but the worry is less angst ridden and more fueled by patience, passion and gratitude. I have learned to appreciate and love where I am even though I am still working on fulfilling all of my dreams. Some days I do feel overwhelmed that I’m not where I want to be and I have to be vigilante about correcting that and being grateful for where I am and all the dreams I have already fulfilled.

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

Self love and self-knowledge. In my 20’s I had to go through a lot of heartache to understand the importance of self-love. Once I learned how to love and understand myself I no longer felt that I had to hold onto things and people that were no longer working for me or supporting my journey. The things and decisions I used to obsess over in my 20’s are now for the most part easy to include or eliminate in my life now and I’m very grateful for that clarity and wisdom.

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

By 40 I want to have a beautiful home of my dreams living with Blake (currently my fiance). We will have at least 2 children and we will both be thriving in our careers. I will be making films and TV shows as a writer, director and actress and Blake will be making his music and producing for other artists as well as thriving as a visual artist. We will have a garden where we will grow all of our produce and herbs and at night our children will walk barefoot into our garden to collect the fixings for our dinner. We will also have an incredible music studio where we will record our music. Together as a family we will travel the world and experience other cultures and languages and we will always be involved with making the world a better place through art and our humanitarian work.

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

“In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.” – Anne Frank

The first time I ever read this quote I was living in New York city and was walking around the upper east side where I was currently living. It was Yom Hashoah (Holocaust Remembrance Day) and someone was holding up a big sign that had Anne Frank’s image featured prominently with this quote below it. I saw it and immediately burst into hysterical tears. If someone like Anne Frank could say something so profound, insightful and hopeful than we can all follow suit. I don’t believe people are born evil but they can be taught, which means that evolutionarily speaking they can be untaught. Treating all people with love, kindness and compassion is one way I can contribute daily to making this world a better place and I make it my mandate to do it everyday even if and especially when someone else is unkind to me.

 

connect with Rachel – website / twitter

her projects – Without A Home / They’re With Me

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project 30- loni

2 Jul

Loni and her husband, Mike, went to graduate school with Brian in Newcastle and they have stayed close ever since. I met them early on in our relationship and knew if Brian had friends like them then he was a keeper. They are just really solid humans. I’ve enjoyed developing my own  relationship with Loni the past few years. She’s warm, incredibly thoughtful and has a dry and funny sense of humor that comes out in the most unexpected moments and always gets a laugh out of me. She also loves birding which I find beyond endearing. I just love that she is who she is. She’s quirky in the most beautiful ways. She’s one of those people who you want to be around because you some how feel better for it. She’s a rare bird and I am so grateful to call her a friend.

Loni pic

What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?

The sky is not falling. You don’t have to have it all figured out.  In fact, it’s best that you NOT have it all figured out because, frankly, you can’t possibly have all the pieces to your puzzle at 20-something. Your life will not always be pleasant, but it will be yours, so enjoy it all as part of the process. You know who you are and you will be okay. Promise.

See also: Calm the F down.

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

Not a damned thing. If there’s ever a time in one’s life to drift along aimlessly and make a muck of it, it’s your 20s. I think sometimes we push ourselves too hard when, really, we’re still babies, especially in our early 20s. Why the hurry to grow up? 

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

All of it. It’s only at 32 that I see just how absolutely unkind I’ve been to myself, especially in my 20s. Newsflash, Lon: You are not perfect and that’s a very good thing.  You never had to please anyone but yourself. 

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

There are so many! The big ones: Studying abroad in England for a year, serving with AmeriCorps right out of college, moving to Los Angeles sight unseen, and meeting and falling in love with my husband. The “little” ones: Holding a baby sloth in Costa Rica, ditching work to go with my friends to a Cher concert (it really did change our lives!), and pounding the pavement for the Obama campaign in 2008 (and again in 2012). 

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live, etc…) by 30?

I honestly didn’t think that far ahead of me in my early 20s. I suppose I wanted to have an adventure – to travel, fall in love a time or two, work in a creative industry, and live in a big, lively city, far away from the small town I grew up in. I think I knew I wanted to do something “outside of the box,” but I wasn’t sure what that looked like. 

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

It’s surprising to me to see that I’ve basically done all of the things I wanted to, despite not having a clear plan.  I’ve done some traveling (though not as much as I’d like!), I’m married to one of the good ones, I have a master’s degree in Museum Studies and have worked in positions I find really interesting, and I live in Los Angeles, a vibrant city that increasingly feels like home to me. 

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

Oh, man, was I ever NOT worried it wouldn’t all fall into place!?

Kate, you once posted a quote on your blog by Georgia O’Keefe which really spoke to me: “I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life – and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing I wanted to do.”

That’s me. I’m anxious about my life and my future even as I type this. I know full well that my life’s work is to just let it all go.  It would break my heart to look back on my life and realize that fear and worry prevented me from experiencing all the things I have set before me, most of which I can only guess at. Sometimes you just have to jump.    

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

I think my greatest gift is simply that I’m alive. I lost my mother to cancer when she was quite young, only 34, so I don’t say that lightly. We’re alive and we have a choice every single day to give it a go and make of it what we will. Perhaps the biggest gift is having the wisdom to recognize that. 

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

I don’t think happiness just sort of happens to you, I believe you have to tend to it like a garden full of stubborn tomatoes.  So I hope at 40 I’ve continued to cultivate my happiness.  I also hope that, in the words of my grandpa, I’ve played the cards I’m dealt in a way I can be proud of. 

Finally, I hope I have a loving, supportive family around me and that, most importantly, they know how much I love and support them. Always.

I trust that the rest of it will work itself out.

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

I have two:

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. – Louisa May Alcott

Ever since happiness heard your name, it has been running through the streets trying to find you. – Hāfez

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connect with Loni  Blog/ twitter 

project 30 – aireka

23 Apr

aireka

Aireka, 34

What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?

That anything is possible. When you are in your 20’s I think you often are not aware of your young age. The truth is there is a positive naiveté that I think sometimes the impossible can happen out of because you are not yet aware that it’s not suppose to happen. (I hope that makes sense).

One thing that I am grateful for is I did a lot of living in my 20’s. No regrets there at all. If anything, I wish I did a bit more.

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

I wish I took opportunity a lot more serious. There was a period in my 20’s that a lot of great opportunities just came to me without much thought. I wonder what life would be like if I took them much seriously. BUT I guess if I did, I wouldn’t have had the immense amount of fun and freedom that I enjoyed and think every woman in their 20’s should have.

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

My weight! I had no idea what a great body I had!!

 Favorite memory from your 20’s?

My apartment. I lived off of Melrose and Fairfax for 7 years! And if those walls could talk!! We had a great time in that place.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?
I definitely thought I would be married with a couple of produced films under my belt.
And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

At 30, I was just beginning my career in Advertising (where I am now) and actually wasn’t really aware of the change that was occurring. I really enjoyed turning 30. I felt hopeful and was very proud of my new stamp of adulthood.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

Of course! And I am still worried now! I don’t think you ever get rid of the worry, even when things begin to make sense. Life is ever-changing and most of the time doesn’t go according to your plan. With age you realize that sometimes life has a better plan than you do and your job is to enjoy the journey and show up to be the best version of yourself each day. You realize there is strength and beauty in imperfection.

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

Experience and Confidence. There is so much that I can say “I Know” because I’ve done it. In your 20’s, you don’t have the experience; everything is more of a guess. Which is a different type of beauty but your 30’s gives you a great sense of ownership of your life because you’ve truly been there and done that.

When you look out into the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

Actually not too much of a different place than what I wanted my life to be in my 30’s but with a little more room for possibility: I want to have found and established my life as well as a beautiful family with my life partner  – the man I hope to spend the rest of my life with. I’m still a hopeful romantic and hold that vision. Family is really important to me and I look forward to the day of having my own. But for me now it doesn’t have to equate to marriage but more about finding the right person and building the right life for us.

I want to wake up everyday and create new life through storytelling and filmmaking. Be it advertising, films, short films, digital content, etc. My job now is about creating opportunities at the intersection of all that we now know and experience as entertainment and I hope by then I have succeeded in that.

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

There are two and they are both really long so I apologize ahead of time:

Think of things you want as being on a string that is infinitely long, but it is nonetheless attached to you in some invisible way. Its is only a matter of trusting that you can bring that string to you and that whatever is supposed to come to your life will be there when you have developed the capacity to receive it. But the trick is, you cannot receive it or even come close to manifesting it if you have an absence of trust in yourself as an extension of God.

From Wayne Dyer’s “Manifest Your Destiny”

AND

Anything less than mad, passionate, extraordinary love is a waste of time. There are too many mediocre things in life to deal with and love shouldn’t be one of them.

Tiffanie DeBartolo, Dream for an Insomniac

Both are hung in my bedroom so that I can read them everyday.

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Find Aireka elsewhere:

website / twitter 

project 30 – chantal

16 Apr

Chantal walked into my life when I was twenty. I was dating a man at the time who was friends with Chantal’s then husband. Did you follow that? Anyway in walks this opinionated, fun, fiery, beautiful Dominican woman to a dinner party one night and we immediately hit it off, becoming fast friends. I can safely say that I got into more trouble with Chantal in my 20’s than anyone else. We were both a bit wild in those days. HA. But I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything and like all lasting relationships do, we’ve stayed close through the changes the last ten years have brought. We’ve held each other’s hand through break-ups, divorce, moves, triumphs, failures, marriage, babies (she has THE cutest little boy named Sebastian) and everything in between. I adore this woman and I thank the Universe for bringing her into my world. She’s always made me feel understood and some days that’s all you need, you know?

I love her more than words can say.

Enjoy her insightful answers to the “Project 30” questions. I fell in love with this line “Yet I now find solace and comfort in the result of what is, and not what isn’t.” Amazing

chantal

Chantal, 35

What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?

It would tell her, not to take life so seriously.  To relax, and perhaps take life with a little more ease. To love herself first, and more. It seemed as though when I was in my 20’s I was more concerned with the exterior of things, or of life itself, how at the time it was supposed to look , or be.  I was more concerned with what people wanted of me, thought of me, what I should do, or be.  I did not have enough faith in my inner self, my inner voice, and what I thought was best for me.  Through time I realized that my exterior, the things of life, career, nor success would define what I was to become.  Nor who I am.

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

The concern and advice of my parents, and elders.  In my 20’s I felt like a young adult that was beating to her own drum, perhaps neglecting their advice and maybe learning the rules of life the hard way.

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

My studies. I should have dropped my books, and just traveled the world. Maybe taken a few years off to travel the globe, in search of nothing, and everything.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

When I got the opportunity to go on a sailing trip for 2 weeks through the British Virgin Islands with a group of friends. One memory that sticks out is the afternoon I was sitting alone, on the deck of the sailboat, basking in the afternoon sun, on this beautiful day, with my headphones on, listening to Sade, and staring into the vast, serene, and endless ocean that was in front of me. Not a worry in the world, I was just happy right where I was.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc ) by 30? 

I thought I would be working for the United Nations, or some other foreign government as a Foreign Service Officer, or working in a field that dealt with the economic development of 3rd world countries. I was a dreamer for sure. I thought I would be living in NY, or off in some foreign country.

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

By 30’ I was at peace, and felt balanced.  I was neither working for the UN, nor living overseas. After leaving my 20’s behind, I had finally found me, with a few years of soul searching, some inner and outer work, plus a heavy dose of nurturing, I was able to patch up a few of the wounds, and walk into my 30’s at peace with the world, and what was in front of me.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

I think its human nature to worry that what we want, wish for or yearn for, will not fall into place. So yes, I worried. Yet I now find solace and comfort in the result of what is, and not what isn’t.

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

Being happy with who I am now. Finding love again, and the right partner for me, to share my life with, to grow old with.  Becoming a mother, and having the privilege and gift to raise our son.

When you look out into the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

I hope at 40 my life continues to evolve, grow, and manifest what ever I set my heart out to achieve.

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

There is a line in William Ernest Henley’s poem Evictus, which resonates with me, and I try to live my life by, it reads,  “I am the captain of my fate, I am the master of my soul.” I think that’s it in a nutshell.

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project 30 – Melissa

9 Apr

I met Melissa in October at Jen Pastiloff’s manifestation yoga retreat and I couldn’t be more thankful that she was brought into my world. She’s become a big energy in my life in a very short time. We just click. It’s been easy to open up to her about things that would normally take me forever to trust someone with. There’s an easiness to our friendship. She also cracks me the f*ck up! Seriously, she’s got a funny line for everything. When I asked her to do this q&a I knew that she would bring something special to the table but when I read her finished piece, I was blown away. It’s so honest and so real. So so so good. It made me like her even more, and I didn’t think that was possible! Enjoy.

melissa
What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

I took on other people’s drama and let things affect me so deeply. Lots of tears and energy wasted on things I couldn’t control. Focusing on what you can change and learning to say “NO” is the difference between your 20s and 30s.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

It’s funny how some the best things happen out of the worse circumstances. I tore my Achilles tendon that ended my ballet days, left my job because I was disabled, and moved back in with my parents for care. Chicago was starting to feel small so I left. In exactly 6 weeks post-surgery, I moved to Los Angeles and created a new life. I also eventually changed careers. My favorite memory is my drive and how outgoing I was. I lived it up, made solid friendships, broke some hearts, had my heart-broken, was living a life most people could only dream of, pulled some crazy shenanigans, and thankfully made it out unscathed.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

Sadly, I thought life would be like Sex and the City. I would be some sales and marketing exec for a healthcare company, living in Chicago, settling down with my now-ex (Mr. Big), and starting a family.

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

My life was in pieces and I was rebuilding. Around 29, I lost my best friend/baby sister to her battle with depression through suicide and was an emotional wreck. Though I had a solid core of friends, I felt so abandoned and depressed. I didn’t date for a year, because I couldn’t imagine opening myself to anyone else or even sharing the fact that my sister decided to leave this world on her own accord. I finally decided to stay in LA after commuting back and forth the year prior. I was working as a fashion editor in a toxic environment and struggling as a freelance wardrobe stylist crashing with friends while looking for an apartment. It was such a dark time, but made through with an incredible support system, a wonderful therapist, and my faith.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

I’ve come a long way and have gone through a metamorphosis to become the woman I am today. I have faith that things will fall into place. Yes, I fear that I won’t find a partner or accomplish my TV aspirations, but I can only control my actions and manifest! I suffered the greatest loss I can only imagine of losing my baby sister (my right arm) and learned you come into this world alone and leave alone. That was the deepest valley so I only look towards the highest mountain.

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

I’m so much more comfortable in my skin and body that I was before. Growing up training as a ballerina I had a love/hate relationship with my body especially by my breasts (which people would pay for). I have learned to listen to body and be more conscious of what goes in it, leaving the abuse of my 20s behind. I also used to have to be out all the time like I was constantly looking for something. Now I love my own company and love my space. I will always be the social butterfly, but there is no place like my home, a glass of zinfindel, jazz, and a good book.

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

Working as a TV host and having a successful personal styling business

A partner (Which is way more than a husband, because it should be a true partnership)

A loving family of my own

Giving back to young females by educating them about career preparedness and self-esteem issues

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

“Love and respect yourself completely”

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FIND MELISSA ELSEWHERE:

Chataigne Style

Twitter

project 30 – Jen

1 Apr

Jen has been in my life now for thirteen years and I’ve enjoyed every single moment of our friendship. When we get together there is always laughter and honest conversations. We just get each other and I am so grateful to have her as a friend. Over the last two years I’ve been lucky enough to watch Jen transform her life and it has been truly inspiring. She decided to leave her life in LA and her career in casting and set off on an adventure to volunteer with All Hands rebuilding schools in Haiti after the devastating earthquake in 2010. How seriously brave and amazing, right? Enjoy her insightful answers…

jen

Jen, 31

What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?

Do something outside of your comfort zone as much as possible….that was always very hard for me. I remember landing in Haiti at 29 and looking out the plane window thinking “what the hell did you just get yourself into” but after 2 weeks doing work unlike anything I had ever done I decided that there was no way I would be able to go back to my life before.

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

Sleep. I’ve never been a good sleeper but I wish I did more of that when I had the time.

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

Stressing about non-important things.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

I have so many amazing memories from my 20’s that picking one is extremely hard, but if I had to it would have been the moment that I fell in love with disaster relief work and Haiti. I was coming home from a full day of pouring a foundation for a school we were building. I was covered head to toe in cement, I had burns up and down both arms from catching buckets of wet cement being thrown at me all day long and I was exhausted. We spent the 35 minute drive home laughing hysterically through the most beautiful country side talking about how excited we were to be doing all over again tomorrow. I remember looking out into a field of banana trees thinking “yes, you’re home”.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

I’ve never been a big planner of the future so I didn’t really have a clear picture of where I would be by 30, but if I had to guess I would have been living in LA and, still working in casting or some other part of the movie industry.

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

I was just approaching my 6th month mark in Haiti. I was living in a tent surrounded by devastation and destruction with some of the most amazing people on this planet. I had no idea what was next or where I was going to go from there.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

Uhhhh Yes, living a life of disaster relief for almost 2 years now is always a little crazy and all over the place but I know in the end it will all work out on way or another.

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

I’m like being confident in who I am as a person. Of course I still have days and moments where I’m completely lost and feel very alone but when it all comes down to it I know who I am, what I like, what I want and what I need at this moment in life.

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

Part of doing disaster relief is that I really have no idea what is next. I still have some major decisions to make in regards to what’s next for me but when it all comes down to it the main thing is that I want to be happy, healthy and enjoying life to the fullest always, no matter how old I am.

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

“Not all those who wander are lost” – JRR Tolkin

project 30 – Katie

26 Mar

I met the lovely Katie of Confessions Of An Imperfect Life at Jen Pastiloff’s yoga retreat in October. I immediately liked her and knew I wanted to be friends with her. Does that sound creepy?! Probably. She’s just a really cool chick, who happens to be a brilliant writer and person. She’s a thoughtful and supportive friend, who inspires me everyday with her raw, intelligent and honest writing. Enjoy her answers…

rockstar

Katie, 35

What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?

Don’t work so hard. Don’t worry so much. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Things will all work out the way they are supposed to.

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

Everything that was available to me living in NYC. I didn’t take full advantage of the cultural mecca that New York is, mostly because I worked so much.

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

Work! Live to work was the mindset then; I wish I had known that work to live was a more healthy option for me.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

Seemingly endless nights in NYC, where anything was possible on any given night. And making friends who would be in my life forever.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

Working for an amazing magazine I loved. Living in the West Village. Financially independent. Surrounded by friends. In love. Happy.

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

Working for an amazing magazine I loved. Living in the West Village.  Financially independent. Surrounded by friends. Not in love. Happy, but restless, ready for change.

Where you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

Everyday. I still worry most days that things won’t fall into place. They may not. The worry drives me to work hard, to fight for the things that I want. And in my 30’s I have learned that sometimes it’s the things that don’t fall into place that are the biggest gifts.

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

Learning to be more authentic. Caring a little less what other people think. Being able to do most of what I want to do. Appreciating EVERYTHING more.

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

Writing more.  Inspiring people through writing. Working for an amazing magazine. Living at the beach. In love. A mother. Happy.

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

“What will you do with your one precious, wild life?” 
― Mary Oliver

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For more project 30 pieces-

Anya / Alison / Amber 

Find me elsewhere-

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