Tag Archives: wedding wednesdays

wedding wednesdays- the untold engagement story

1 May

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So yesterday I was driving home thinking about what I wanted to feature this week on Wedding Wednesdays…the insane flower quote I got? These things grow in the ground for christ’s sake!  My first solo lunch with my future mother in law? Picking a honeymoon location? Putting together the guest list? And then it dawned on me. I recently had a lengthy conversation with a friend who is dying to get engaged and is so frustrated with her boyfriend for not having asked yet and I thought, I never told you all how much I wanted to get in engaged. Like not in an endearing way. Like I kinda lost my mind there for a few months while waiting for Brian to pop the question. Brian and I now lovely refer to that dark period as “When Kate lost her mind”…it’s funny in retrospect. Really, it is. For a person who fancies herself zen, I can certainly be impatient. I like things to go my way and on my timeline and waiting for Brian to propose was simply the most maddening exercise the universe had ever given me.

The whole experience says so much about our personalities too. I throw myself head first into just about anything. I blaze ahead with out thinking. A quality that has both gotten me in trouble as well as helped me make bold decisions that have paid off. Brian on the other hand is meticulous about his next move. There isn’t a decision he’s ever made, quickly. If he’s in the market for a new jacket he scours the internet for days (even weeks! even months!) looking for the perfect one. I on the other hand go to bloomingdale’s with no intention of buying anything and come home with a new closet. We’re just different.

Also, guess who said “I love you” first? I just blurted it out one night as we lie in bed. That’s another problem I have…blurting things out the minute I feel them. So there I went throwing out the “I love you” much too early and got crickets. HE SAID NOTHING GUYS. I had scared him right back into his little shell and it took many, many many weeks for him to come out again and say, “I think I love you”. He couldn’t even go all out with it at first. Too scary! He had to tip toe into the water. This is the funniest thing about it though. This quality that makes me insane also made me fall in love with him. He’s not a bullshitter. He doesn’t say things unless he means it. He never tries to be anything he isn’t. Or feel anything he doesn’t. And guess what? When he finally did tell me he loved me it meant more to me than anything in the world. It was like I had never heard those words uttered to me before. They sounded new. He meant them deep in his bones.

So when it came to getting engaged, I knew I would have to be patient. Did that make the process any easier? NO. It literally consumed my thoughts for months. Why isn’t he proposing? Does he not want to marry me? But I feel like he does? Oh and every time a friend (who am I kidding, a stranger even!) would get engaged, I would become unhinged. I would either start a fight about it, cry, or just close my computer and walk out of the room, letting my silence speak for me. Clearly, this is the way to make a man want to spend eternity with you.

It was a totally annoying six months. But luckily, I finally exhausted myself and decided to STOP talking about it with him. I still talked about it to everyone else though. My poor mother probably wanted to get a new daughter. One that was normal.

The less I talked about though, the less it consumed my thoughts. Things were returning to normal at our house. He could even sleep with his eyes closed again.

And it was then that he surprised the living shit out of me with a proposal. I was wearing Pajamas for crying out loud. And you know what else? When he asked me to be his wife, I knew he meant it with every fiber of his being and I knew he meant forever.

wedding wednesdays – save the dates

24 Apr

save the date

Our “save the dates” went out this weekend! When we dropped them in the mail I looked at Brian and jokingly said, “Well, there’s no turning back now”. There is something rather final about telling 170 people to mark their calendars with your wedding date, don’t you think? The pressure is on.

We went back and forth on whether we were even going to send “save the dates” at all. We wondered if it was just an added expense that we could skip, let it instead get around via telephone or something.

But in the end I decided that it would be polite to inform our out-of-town guests so they could make travel arrangements. When I told Brian I thought we should send them out he said, “Can we just send out an evite?” I laughed and when he didn’t join in I realized he was being serious. He wanted to send out an evite for our wedding save the dates. Ha.

I informed him that considering it was our WEDDING and not a fourth of July BBQ we would not be using evite. He then tried to argue his point by saying that is would be “greener” of us if we did. He was thinking exceptionally quick, even I was impressed!

I said NO, end of story. I mean, we were already getting married at a venue called the Smog Shoppe at least let my grandmother who doesn’t even know how to work a computer get a save the date in the mail.

When he realized this battle would not be won, we moved on to the next step…finding a save the date that felt “like us”. That sounded rather precious of me to say, huh? We wanted to find a save the date the “felt like us”, but it’s true. It’s the first impression people get of your wedding and I wanted it to be playful instead of uptight. Much like I hope our wedding is.

So we ended up narrowing it down to three options and then finally one. I will say I kind of picked the winner. Brian actually liked another one better but realized this wasn’t something he really cared enough about to make it a battle. Now the booze at our wedding is a different story. I really only drink wine and usually just chardonnay, so I would be happy if it was a night filled with buttery chardonnay. But Brain feels strongly that we need a full bar. So I let him run with it. Compromise at its finest.

I’ve discovered in four short months that this is how the wedding planning goes. It’s all about compromise. It’s a great starter for marriage. So I happily took the lead with the “save the dates” and picked the one with the heart because well, I thought it was sweet and playful. Then I moved on to ordering them.

When they arrived in the mail, I giddily tore open the box with excitement. Brian took one look at the massive stack of “save the dates” and asked me how many I had ordered. I proudly said 190, 20 more than the 170 we are inviting just in case we messed any up. Aren’t I smart?!

It was quickly explained to me that I probably only needed half of that considering most families and couples live together. I’ve never claimed to be good at math.

So now we have a shitload of “save the dates” to keep as mementos. Brian has taken to using them as drink coasters.

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