Tag Archives: turning 30

nursery inspiration

12 Jan

I am in full swing nursery mode over here. I love home decor and design in general so the project of working on baby Glodney’s room is an insanely fun one for me. I bet every parent enjoys building the baby’s nursery though. It makes their impending arrival feel even more real. The room we are turning into his nursery is currently our office- we will be leaving our desk behind though so baby G will have to learn how to share until we move to a larger home one day. Even though we call it our “office” the space has never felt finished and it’s purpose has always been ambiguous. I never actually work in there! Let’s just say…it has needed some loving for quite some time. As I mentioned in a previous post we spent most of our holiday break cleaning it out.

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Looks like a terribly fun holiday project, huh? We made a big dent but there is still some work to be done. I’m hoping to get the last of it cleared out before the painter comes this Saturday. I’ve settled on light grey walls for the baby’s room. If you know me then this color choice will not come as a surprise. Grey is most definitely my favorite color. It goes with everything! I love the way it looks with white and I love the way it looks with bright pops of color- both of which I plan to incorporate into his room. I also love ethnic rugs and baby animal heads. Let’s hope the animal heads don’t scare the shit out of the little guy. Here are some of my inspiration photos…

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The Animal Print Shop by Sharon Montrose

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View More: http://kristinsarna.pass.us/esti-nursery

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The Animal Print Shop by Sharon Montrose

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The Animal Print Shop by Sharon Montrose

The Animal Print Shop by Sharon Montrose

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five months

7 Jan

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Monthly pregnancy update – January / five months

Moving right along over here- five months in and feeling pretty good. Baby Glodney is getting bigger by the day! If you ask the pregnancy app on my iPhone he’s currently the size of a banana. The fruit and vegetable comparison cracks me up. At week seven I made the mistake of scrolling to the final week, week 40, to see what fruit he would be by then…my eyes widened when I saw a picture of a watermelon. It scared the shit out of me. I scrolled back to the picture of a blueberry as fast as I could. This growing a human in your stomach thing is wild. It’s so sci-fi! When I see him on the ultrasound screen I still feel like I am watching television. My brain has a hard time comprehending that the television image is happening inside me. You’d think the bump at my midsection would help it feel real. Maybe there’s still a bit of a disconnect because I can’t feel him move yet? I got the news a few weeks ago that my placenta has grown in a really unhelpful place- it’s low and anterior. The anterior part means it’s on the belly side of my uterus. So when he kicks he’s kicking the placenta instead of my stomach. I can’t feel a thing. My OB said I might not feel him move until after week 30. Major bummer… I was so looking forward to the joys of feeling him move. The placenta situation got even more annoying when I learned that it was also low and partially covering my cervix. For those of you who don’t know much about the female anatomy, the cervix is his exit out into the world once he’s fully cooked. So the fact that it’s being partially covered is clearly a problem. If the placenta does not move off the cervix as I progress then I will have to have a scheduled c-section. There’s not even another option. This news really upset me. I had an image of how our son was going to enter the world and that image did not include a c-section. I know that a healthy baby is all that really matters though so I will make peace with it if needed.

Other than my placenta situation it’s been an easy pregnancy so far. He’s been good to his mama. We’ve been working on cleaning out our office to make room for him. It was a much bigger project than I intended it to be. How can two people possibly hoard so much crap in a few short years?? I put Brian to work during the holiday break. I can safely say he’s had more  exciting and restful breaks from work. The room still looks crazy- papers and boxes everywhere but we are making progress. My goal is to have it totally cleaned out before the painter comes January 16th to paint the room.

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I’m feeling…so tired. I kept hearing that the second trimester would bring with it a surge of energy but I have yet to experience that. Maybe it’s because I’ve been sick with either a cold or food poisoning for the last month but I am totally wiped.

food loves…fruit. It’s not a worthwhile day unless there is fruit involved. I can’t seem to get enough vanilla yogurt with bananas on top. It’s the first thing I think about when I wake up. I would also be happy if I could eat a chopped salad from Coral Tree Cafe for lunch everyday.

food hates…ummm there’s not much this pregnant lady won’t eat.

daydreaming about…a big family trip we might take (if we are brave enough) with the little guy in September. They say it’s easy to travel with babies when they are young so we are toying with the idea of taking him to a foreign (don’t worry we aren’t thinking third world this time) destination.

can’t wait to…paint his room.

least favorite parts of pregnancy this month…my weakened immune system and the fact that you can’t take cold meds when you are pregnant. Such a cruel joke.

favorite parts of pregnancy this month…ahhh so much. I love when Brian puts his hand on my growing belly to say hi to the babe. I feel so connected to my husband right now and it’s such a sweet time in our marriage. I also love putting my own hand on my belly and talking to him. Playing the name game with Brian has also been fun. I of course already have the perfect name picked out for our son but to be fair I’m going through the motions of looking through books and putting a larger list together so we can discuss. Compromise at it’s finest.

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around these parts…

5 Jan

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(image via)

Happy New Year lovely people!! I’m always a bit shocked when a new year arrives. Time seems to be moving at warp speed. Where did 2015 go, you know? Although, I’m ok with putting 2015 to bed…I like the sound of 2016. The number just feels good rolling off my tongue and I love the energy that a new year brings. 2015, was an intense year for me- intensely hard and intensely beautiful. I said it on my instagram account but it felt as if 2015 had two acts. Act one kicked my ass- it was filled with lessons, hard work, big questions & uncomfortable (albeit needed) personal growth. I can’t say I enjoyed that period but I know that it lead me to a better version of me, so, high-five Universe! Thanks for dragging me through the shit! I truly believe that we must go through dark periods to earn and appreciate the lighter ones, and act two of 2015 was just that…a big bright light. It was  one of the sweetest periods I can ever remember experiencing. I’m so grateful for the gifts it brought me.

This new year feels different from most for me. I’m usually all about starting the year off with big goals to accomplish in the 365 days I have. While I do still have goals this year (working on a new vision board now) my intention for this year is less about attaining things and more about enjoying things. It’s shaping up to be a year that I will have to be ok with things moving at a slower pace than I am used to. I officially stopped working last week until the babe arrives in May. I knew it was coming considering my job as a fit model is based on my measurements and they have certainly changed dramatically in the last few months. Even with the preparation, it was a hard pill for me to swallow. I really enjoy working and the idea of stopping sounded less than ideal. All my clients were great about it though. They were very supportive and reassuring that they would have me back when I was ready. So my plan is to go back a few months after he is born (granted I can get back to my measurements!). Even with their reassurance I found it hard to turn all my clients over to another fit model. I felt such a lack of control! I had to remind myself that change is inevitable and letting go was ok. There will always be new clients. On to a new adventure, right?!

So what am I going to do with myself for the next 4 1/2 months before he arrives? Your guess is as good as mine. Someone told me I could spend it getting his nursery ready. This idea made me giggle…who needs 4 1/2 months to ready a nursery? God help me if it takes that long! I’m hoping to fill my time with more writing & blogging. I’ve really neglected both for some time. I used to blog every damn day and now I’m lucky if I do once a week. I also hope to fall into a regular yoga practice. I haven’t gone to one class since finding out I was pregnant (In the beginning I was scared that I would hurt the baby but I think I am moving past my “scared of everything” phase). Ok so I definitely have blogging, writing & yoga to fill my days. My other ideas include a once a week artist date with myself, baking (because what better time to take up baking than when you are pregnant…I’m already getting bigger so why not just throw myself all in, you know?) & home projects (it’s so funny how strong the urge is to nest and ready your space before the baby arrives. Like he is going to care about the new credenza or which shade of grey I paint the walls!). Any other brilliant ideas about how I should spend the next few months?

 

note from the universe

17 Dec

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loved the note from the universe I received this morning…it inspired me to start visualizing for 2016…

“You eat to nourish your body. You sleep to rejuvenate your spirit. You study, work, and apply yourself for emotional gains. You exercise to tighten your muscles. You listen to music to entertain yourself, Kate.

You’re not at all adverse to investing time and energy for the rewards you seek. So how about you spare just a few minutes every day to visualize the life of your dreams? Because nothing else you could ever do will make such a profound difference in your fortunes and misfortunes as working with your thoughts and beliefs.”

You can start now,
The Universe

four months

2 Dec

 

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(me and my little guy / four months)

It’s shocking to me that I am already in my second trimester. The first seriously flew by! I am not complaining though, I much prefer the second. And not because I suffered extreme nausea during the first like so many women I know (I’ve actually experienced very little), but rather I feel safer in the second. I spent a lot of the first trimester worrying. I doubt this comes as a surprise. I’d swing between excitement (we’re having a baby!!) and worry on a daily basis. I worried I would miscarry. I worried about what I ate – there are so many random things on the “no” list! I worried about the tests they ran- all normal tests during the first trimester but still scary. I had one particularly horrible day when I experienced bad cramping around 10 weeks. I was terrified and spent most of the day in tears. I was so scared of loosing our baby. In the end they passed and our baby is happy and healthy. I’ve done my best to stay calm and relaxed. One…I want to enjoy my pregnancy, it’s such a magical time and I don’t want to spend it worrying. And two…I want my baby to enjoy the pregnancy. I don’t want him to spend his time growing in the belly of a person who’s feeling anxious all the time. I want it to be a calm and happy experience for all parties involved. Now that I am in my fourth month I am easing into it. There’s a definite bump, which I wasn’t expecting quite yet. I’m not sure what the norm for a bump is at four months though. I’m sure it varies!

The highlight of the first trimester was definitely finding out the baby’s gender. It’s crazy how early they can tell you now. They don’t even need to see it on an ultrasound. They took my blood to determine the baby’s gender- WILD. Both Brian and I wanted a boy. I’ve always imagined myself with a son so the idea of having a girl just seemed foreign. The fact that I wanted a boy left me convinced our baby was a girl. I’m not sure if I was preparing myself so I wouldn’t be disappointed? Waiting for the gender results proved hard for me. I am not known for my patience. When they took my blood they said it could take up to 14 business days to receive the results. Our results did not come back until the 14th business day. I mean, come on! By day 13 I had convinced myself our baby was a hermaphrodite and that was why it was taking so long. True story. When I finally did get the call from the doctor’s office and they said BOY I was in shock. A boy?!??! Still letting the news sink in- so happy about it though.

Monthly pregnancy update – December / four months

Baby’s Size-  A navel orange (4 inches)

I’m feeling...calmer, even more connected to the baby now that I can refer to it as a “him”, hungry all the damn time, extremely tired by the end of the day (I go to bed most nights at 9pm), grateful & more present.

food loves…yogurt (all flavors! my love for yogurt knows no limits), meat (my low was eating chili for breakfast. chili! so weird) & carbs.

food hates…eggs. before becoming pregnant my breakfast most mornings consisted of scrambled eggs. now the idea of handling them and eating them makes me uncomfortable.

daydreaming about…the nursery. I have so many ideas and I can’t wait to start his room.

can’t wait to…feel him move

least favorite parts of pregnancy this month…saying goodbye to my skinny jeans (they were tight even before pregnancy!), the fact that I can’t sleep on my stomach anymore (that’s the only way I sleep!)

favorite parts of pregnancy this month…the arrival of a small bump. sharing the news with our loved ones.

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life according to my iPhone lately

1 Dec

Life according to my iPhone lately…well, the last two months.

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early morning family selfie

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snug as a bug

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baby Glodney’s first photo…don’t worry we couldn’t spot the baby either

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new morning routine

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Franks thoughts about walking the neighborhood in his halloween costume

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early morning hike

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baby Glodney’s second photo…my how you’ve grown!

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decaf coffee is just not the same

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celebrating two years of marriage

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bed head

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exploring a hollywood parklet

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visiting my step father Irv in Kansas City

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fall colors in Kansas City

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more fall colors!

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exploring the Nelson-Atkins museum

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you must eat bbq when in Kansas City, right?

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arriving in Atlanta to visit my friend Chantal

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her sweet little guy helping me with my bag

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love that sweet boy

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love his mama too

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our best attempt at a group photo

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giving the baby thing a test run

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oh, hi!

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street art in Atlanta

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appetizer spread at a little dinner party we hosted

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these two

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Oh, hi baby Glodney! Looking cozy

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morning coffee with Rachel and Ben

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more baby test runs

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your baby is a…

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BOY!!

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with the new man in my life…

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and baby makes four…

30 Nov

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I’m guessing from the title of this post you know what’s coming…A BABY!!!!!!! Can you tell I’m happy about this news? Actually, happy isn’t a grand enough word to describe how I feel. I’m literally bursting at the seams with joy. I can’t seem to wipe the huge smile off my face. It’s been 75 days since I first held the positive pregnancy test in my hands and I still feel like I am floating on a cloud. The whole thing feels unreal despite the bulge at my midsection.

Brian and I started “trying” for a baby in June. I had heard it could take up to a year to get pregnant but I decided I was going to get pregnant the first month. Such an overachiever, huh? So imagine my surprise when I didn’t get pregnant that first month. I immediately started worrying. From then on, getting pregnant became all I could think about. I researched everything on the subject…what to eat, what not to eat, fertility boosters, stress relievers, positions, blah blah blah. In an attempt to get my body in tip-top shape I cut out alcohol, limited my caffeine intake, got off any anxiety medicine and started eating even healthier than I already did, all in hopes it would boost my chances of getting pregnant. After three months of trying…still no baby.

I was feeling rather defeated by the whole process. I am a person who believes that actions should yield results and my actions weren’t yielding the desired results.

I am aware that three months isn’t a very long time but it felt like an eternity to me. When you’re ready…you’re ready, you know? The process was a good lesson for me- I don’t control the universe. As much as I’d like to…I don’t and sadly, I never will. For a person who craves control, this is always a hard pill for me swallow.

I realized I had to refocus my energy. Instead of tightly griping on to my ideas of how it should go, I had to trust the process. I had to trust that our baby would come when it was meant to be. I had to trust the divine timing of it all. There’s magic in the things we can’t control. I truly believe the universe has an order to it and once I reminded myself of that I was able to surrender.

It was around this time I got pregnant.

September 16th…

My period wasn’t due for four days but I had been feeling “off” for close to a week with cramping and lower back aches.  I just felt weird. Of course this made me excited that I could possibly be pregnant but I also tried to remain cautious about getting too excited…I didn’t want to be disappointed.  After Brian left for work that morning I was lying in bed sipping my coffee when I remembered that I had an unopened package of First Responses under the sink in the bathroom (a pregnancy test that you can take six days before your missed period). So I thought…why not? If it’s negative I will try another test in a few days again. Nothing lost, right?

So I took the test…set the alarm for three minutes….sat on the bathroom floor in my pjs and continued to sip my coffee while I waited.

Three minutes later the alarm went off and I peered at the test.

And there it was….

yes!

That moment was an out-of-body experience. A billion thoughts rushed through my head in a millisecond. OMG!  It says YES! I’m going to be a mother…we’re going to have a baby!!!…I can’t wait to tell Brian!!…OMG…Holy shit…I’m going to be somebody’s mom…HOLY SHIT…HOLY SHIT…HOLY SHIT…there’s a tiny human in my belly! What a fucking miracle! Shit…am I allowed to drink coffee now that I’m pregnant??? The last thought left me running to the sink to spit out my mouthful of coffee. I continued to stand there and stare at the positive test in my hand- unable to grasp the fact that this was really happening. Becoming a parent is such an abstract thought…until it isn’t. A wave of emotion came over me and I started to cry. I felt so grateful. So elated. So nervous. So shocked. So insanely happy.

 It makes Frank very uncomfortable when I cry and he anxiously peered up at me with his big brown eyes. I kept reassuring him it was ok, that I was just happy. Then I informed him he was going to be a big brother. ha.

Still unable to catch my breath and with tears streaming down my face I picked up the phone to call Brian. Then I thought better of it and hung up. I didn’t want him to find out he was going to be a father in a hurried phone call between meetings at work, so I dialed my mother instead. She sleepily picked up the phone (it was 7 am after all) and I began to sob even harder.

To which she fearfully replied, “Kate??? What’s wrong???! Are you ok??!”

“I’m preeeee- ga- nant!!” I said between tears.

“What???”she said

“I’m PREGNANT!” I said

“You are!!? Why are you crying then???”

“I don’t know” sniffle “I guess I’m just overwhelmed.”

So, that’s how my mom found out.

After hanging up with her I began to ponder my next step. I felt emotionally paralyzed. I guess I was supposed to go to the doctor for blood work to confirm it? Yeah, that seemed right. So I got dressed and drove to my doctor’s office. A few hours later I got the call…I was most definitely pregnant!  The next thing on my agenda…how to tell Brian the news. I went back and forth on various ideas. Even googling “how to tell your partner you’re pregnant”- let me tell you…there are some really creative people out there. So many brilliant ideas. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to put on a big show or just tell him the news. I tried to think of ways to bring Frank into the announcement as well. Maybe I could find a shirt that read “I’m going to be a big brother” and squeeze Frank into it before Brian got home? Sadly, I was crunched for time so instead of driving around town in search of a big brother shirt for Frank, I headed to the bookstore in search of a book about becoming a father for Brian. I settled on a book that’s cover read…“DUDE, YOU’RE GOING TO BE A DAD!” with a bunch of sperm swimming around. I thought the swimming sperm was a nice touch.

I taped the positive test stick to the cover of the book (not quite sure why I thought the book title wouldn’t be clear enough?) and put it at the bottom of a newly folded pile of clothes out of the dryer. When Brian got home from work I asked him to go thru the pile to make sure everything was his before putting it away. He went thru each shirt…yes…yes…yes…yes…no…yes…then he got to the book..looked right at it and moved on- clearly, it didn’t register at first. Then he stopped in his tracks…went back to the book…peered at me with wide eyes and said…REALLY??!

I said…YES!!!

He stood there quietly. I wasn’t quite sure what was coming next. Tears, maybe?? Brian doesn’t do well with surprises. After a few moments…he made a move…hugged me tightly and said…”I’m so happy for you!”

HAAAAA.

“I’m so happy for you” Best. Response. Ever. Like I was some stranger on the street who just told him she was pregnant.

I said, “You’re so happy for ME? You are aware that I didn’t get pregnant on my own right?”

He will never live that response down- NEVER. I won’t let him. I was expecting tears. people! Poor boy was in total shock. After an hour (and a few beers) the shock had worn off and he was excitedly touching my belly. He just needed a minute to let it all sink in.

So there you have it…we’re having a BABY!!!

And we found out last week it’s a baby boy!!!

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