Tag Archives: spirituality

monday morning meditation

3 Aug

b0e127a4428b09b00c1bc41fa7fb3a5d

p a t i e n c e     is the     a n t i d o t e

Patience is the antidote to anger, a way to learn to love and care for whatever we meet on the path. By patience, we do not mean endurance- as in ” grin and bear it.” In any situation, instead of reacting suddenly, we could chew it, smell it, look at it, and open ourselves to seeing what’s there. The opposite of patience is aggression- the desire to jump and move, to push against our lives, to try to fill up space. The journey of patience involves relaxing, opening to whats happening, experiencing a sense of wonder.

-Pema Chodron-

Advertisements

project 30 – angela

13 Mar

Screen Shot 2013-03-16 at 3.20.54 PM

Angela, 36

What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?

Love yourself. Love yourself. Just the way you are. You are 110% perfect in the most beautifully imperfect way. No matter how perfect someone else’s life may seem to the outside world, we are all just a work in progress. Love yourself and trust your heart – no matter what!

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

Financial planning, savings, and investments. In my early/mid 20’s I was married supporting my husband in his career. In my later 20’s I was single and determined to discover myself, and my true path in life. Looking back I was just running towards or away from things. I trusted too much that everything would work itself out in the end. It usually does, but things could have worked themselves out more in my favor had I been more present in ‘the now’ while running towards my tomorrow.

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

I wish I had of embraced my inner-rebel a lot more in my 20’s, and teens even. I was very much “the good girl.” When push comes to shove I’ve always followed my heart, but in a lot of ways some of the choices I made in my 20’s were from fear of not being accepted or loved. I think that’s the greatest blessing of being a woman in your 30’s is that you start to care less and less about what other people think. At least it’s been true for me. I wish I had of cared less about what people thought of me and made more mistakes. Not the stupid and reckless kind of mistakes (like drugs & sex) but more of the academic, fitness, entrepreneurship, and everything investing in me kind of mistakes. I would have rather failed big then than the now of looking back and having not tried from fear of what other people thought of me. I wish I had of risked failing at some things on a bigger scale.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

A lot of people don’t know this about me, but in my early/mid 20’s I was married and a mom. I’m a different woman now with different goals, and am totally happy with my life in a different kind of way. In my 20’s though I was really happy in the role of mom. Even today, thinking about moments, it makes me smile and my eyes fill up with tears (the heart warming kind). The best moments in my 20’s all include my favorite little blonde haired blue-eyed boy; word games in the grocery store, playing in the mud, sock ball fights, hide-n-seek, or snuggling on the couch to watch cartoons. Even to this day I haven’t forgotten the smell of his hair and I can still hear the sweetest words [I believe] anyone can ever hear, “Mommy, I love you.”

I’ve changed so much since then. So many things have happened, but without a doubt being a mom was the best part of my 20’s.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

In my early and mid 20’s I was supporting the career of my husband. I honestly thought I would be married in my 30’s (naturally) and where I lived wasn’t something that crossed my mind too much because then I felt that my home was with my family, no matter where we lived. I’ve always had an entrepreneurial heart, so even in my early 20’s I was still very passionate about building a successful business. I saw myself in my 30’s running a start-up or agency of sorts. Looking back though, I can see now that I needed to go through some major life changes and experiences before I could really know who I was or what gifts and talents I had to share.

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

At 30 I was living in Los Angeles, CA (and that is where we met :-). I spent my late 20’s and the beginning of my 30’s doing a lot of healing in L.A. I was really blessed to have met three phenomenal people there and they played a huge role in me becoming who I am today. In my 30’s I had the opportunity to spend moments around a lot of really successful and inspiring people. This and working with one of the most sought after personal development coaches took my belief system of what life had to offer to an entirely new level. My perspective, my bubble of what the world looked like burst open in my 30’s and I started to really believe in myself for the first time. As I’m saying this, it sounds like something dramatically life changing happened then, but it was the opposite. I worked all the time. I was quiet a lot. I asked questions. I listened. I paid attention. I believe there are times in life when you need to be in the spotlight (to share your gifts) and then there are times when you need to be behind-the-scenes (to learn lessons). Those were my behind-the-scenes years and I didn’t waist a single moment. It was all a learning experience and I’ll forever feel indebted to the universe for those opportunities.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

(Laughing) I’m still a little worried. Well, in some ways. I didn’t figure out whole-heartedly what I wanted to do with my life until around 33. I’m 36 now. I had a lot of life obstacles in my 20’s that were unexpected and very challenging especially considering my age. In some ways they set me back externally, but they pushed me forward internally. I hope that makes sense. I’m still a work in progress though even in my 30’s, and I love it! 

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

I think the whole package of knowing who you are, knowing what you want, and feeling more comfortable in your own skin makes everything about life more enjoyable in your 30’s.

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

2013 and 2014 I spent building the foundation on a few of my projects and spending a lot of time going through the motions of everyday life. 2015 I want to begin living my life on purpose again. I want to travel more, write more, and experience more. I want to have more compassion, empathy and understanding for myself and in my relationships. I want to take things to the next level in those regards. I want to work on being in the now, to create and carry a more whole and balanced ‘me’ into my 40’s (which is just three and a half years a way… yikes!!).

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

My mom use to say, “This too shall pass.”

When I was little and a teenager I thought that this saying only applied to the tough moments in life; like when I would scrape a knee or when a boy had broken my heart.

In my mid 20’s I realized it meant something very different (at least to me the meaning dramatically changed).

During that time my mom had been diagnosed terminally ill with cancer, given 4-6 months to live, and was spending the last months of her life with us (me – her only daughter, son-in-law, and grandson).

It was in those months I began to realize how precious a moment was.

Excruciating at times to watch my mom experience so much pain and loose herself to tumors, every last moment was still a blessing. It was a blessing because it was one more moment I got to spend with her.

Our time on earth isn’t guaranteed. It doesn’t belong to us. We don’t own it. Every moment is a gift and we are just the managers of the time we’re given.

I think of, “this too shall pass,” constantly. It helped me get through that time of my life, be more present, and stay grateful.

It’s not about being positive all of the time and ignoring the pain in a situation, but instead knowing that no matter what happens I’m the manager of this moment, of how I want to look at the situation in front of me, whatever actions I take next, and the memories I’m creating. Because… “This too shall pass.”

*

connect with Angela

facebook / google plus / twitter / be the news / naked honest

artist date : a sunny balcony & a book

4 Feb

Artist date # 2

photo-15

It’s been a looooong time since I took myself on an artist date. It could be the very reason I’ve been feeling creatively challenged recently. Now that we are finally settled in our new home I decided to pencil in an artist date with myself every Friday afternoon. I was planning on going to the museum last Friday but switched it up last-minute and decided to spend some time with my new Marianne Williamson book instead.

Marianne is a internationally acclaimed spiritual author and lecturer. Six of her ten published books have been New York Times Best Sellers. I went to one of her lectures (she speaks every Monday night in LA! I’m going tonight!) many years ago and loved her. She’s incredibly inspiring. I picked up her book “A Return To Love” last week because I have been feeling tapped out from my spiritual place recently. I always that I am disconnected when I start feeling anxious…all the time- about everything and nothing. My anxiety is a huge red flag that I am not in a trusting, connected and spiritual head space. Because really there’s nothing to feel anxious about.

The day of my date, I almost ditched it to tackle the million and one other things I had to do…like unpack more boxes, wedding planning stuff (ugh…wedding planning stuff is a full-time gig!), writing, errands blah blah blah. I felt bad about spending a Friday afternoon reading…for enjoyment. I felt like I could be doing more productive things with my time. But, then I realized that reading for enjoyment is productive! It’s feeding my soul! My creativity! Why the hell would I feel bad about that? Isn’t it crazy how taking time for yourself can feel decadent?

So I went for it and I spent Friday afternoon…sitting in the sun on our new deck with a diet coke, a luna bar and Marianne. I had SOOO many AH-HA moments (as Oprah would say) while reading it. Thought I’d share a few of my favorite excerpts.

~ A Return To Love ~

When we were born, we were programmed perfectly. We had a natural tendency to focus on love. Our imaginations were creative and flourishing, and we knew how to use them. We were connected to a world much richer than the one we connect to now, a world full of enchantment and a sense of the miraculous. So what happened? Why is it that we reached a certain age, looked around, and the enchantment was gone?

Because we were taught to focus elsewhere. We were taught to think unnaturally. We were taught  a very bad philosophy, a way of looking at the world that contradicts who we are. We were taught to think thoughts like competition, struggle, sickness, finite resources, limitation, guilt, bad, death, scarcity, and loss. We began to think these things, and so we began to know them. We were taught that things like grades, being good enough, money, and doing things the right way, are more important than love. We were taught that we’re separate from other people, that we have to compete to get ahead, that we’re not quite good enough the way we are. 

**

You’d think we’d have some compassion for ourselves, bound up in emotional chains the we are, but we don’t. We’re just disgusted with ourselves, because we think we should be better by now. Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking other people don’t have as much fear as we do, which only makes us more afraid. Maybe they know something we don’t know. Maybe we’re missing a chromosome.

**

Love casts out sin or fear the way light casts out darkness. The shift from fear to love is a miracle.

**

A course in miracles likens us to sunbeams thinking we’re separate from the sun, or waves thinking we’re separate from the ocean. Just as a sunbeam can’t separate itself from the sun, and wave can’t separate itself from the ocean, we can’t separate ourselves from one another. We are all part of vast sea of love, one indivisible divine mind. The truth of who we really are doesn’t change; we just forget it. We identify with the motion of a small separate self, instead of the idea of reality we share with everyone. 

namaste

12 Sep

(photos via)

I started practicing yoga 8 years ago and thank heavens I did because I swear, with out it I would be a cray-zay person. Yes, I would be crazier than I already am. Scary, huh? I’ll admit I go through periods where I practice more often than others and it’s no surprise to me that when I am practicing regularly, everything in my life feels more manageable, my head feels clearer and I feel more present, happy and grateful. Let’s just say that recently I have NOT felt all the amazing things I listed above. Quite the opposite really. My head has been all abuzz with fear, or as I like to think of it- False Evidence Appearing Real. My mind is constantly running over things, categorizing things that don’t need to be categorized and worrying about things that haven’t happened yet (and probably never will!) It’s an exhausting endeavor and I find that using all this brilliant brain power to think about worries leaves little time for creative endeavors.

When this starts to happen, I know that I’m totally out of whack and that I need to get back to my spiritual practice- yoga and mediation.

Yoga and meditation give me a break from the constant chatter of my mind. They show me where my blocks are and teach me about myself, even the parts I didn’t want to look at. I’d like to think that how I show up on the mat is a metaphor for how I show up in life. Do I approach my practice with patience, love and humor?

There’s something really beautiful about pushing your body that hard, yet remaining that peaceful at the same time. And, that 5 minutes of quiet, dark nothing at the end … I live for. The ability to simply exist and just be. You cannot always control what goes on outside. But you can sometimes control what goes on inside.

I’m getting very excited to go on my first yoga retreat next month…