Bianca, 36
What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?
I would tell myself to slow down. To ease up on over-thinking everything. That where I think I’m going to be in 10 years will in no way resemble where I actually end up and yet it will all make perfect sense when I look back on it all. That life has its own plans and loves nothing more than to pull the rug out from underneath you, but that if you put your faith and trust in its wisdom it will always show you the way back onto your feet. That even the great heart breaks will come to feel like old friends, reminders of your immense capacity to find the light, even in the darkest hours. •
What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?
Honestly, not much. I feel like you kinda need to say “F-U” to a lot of things in your 20’s so that you can look back later on and say “I had my time as a rebel, I left no stone unturned”.
What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?
Time. I wish that I didn’t put so much pressure on myself to get certain things done by a specific time. Everyone’s life is as unique as their fingerprint, and there’s no need to compare yourself to anyone else. Just because so and so had the family and kids and house and dog by their 25th birthday doesn’t mean that needs to be your story. We spend so much time fighting against our natural progression and it doesn’t make anything happen any quicker, it just makes you miss out on the ride. Your life is the beautiful story about YOU. Live it without apology. You are exactly where you are supposed to be for the lessons you need to learn at any given moment.
Favorite memory from your 20’s?
Driving down the coast when I moved from Seattle to Los Angeles to pursue my dream of becoming an actress. The world was my oyster. Anything was possible. What a pure, pristine moment, I will never forget that feeling.
In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?
Oh for SURE married to Leonardo Dicaprio and living the dream with my first of many Oscars on the mantle. Hey, I like to dream big.
And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?
hahaha ohhhhh, on my way to a divorce and on a network sitcom where I felt artistically frustrated and unchallenged. So, you know, REALLY CLOSE to the above vision.
Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?
ONE THOUSAND PERCENT. I felt like I had failed at everything I set out to do. I felt like a child. I felt lost and confused and scared of what might come next. So I did the only thing left to do… I asked for help. From family and friends. From wise teachers. From my dogs. I asked for help from anyone who stirred something within me. And very slowly, I started to find my way. I started to see that I was never really lost and that everything was unfolding as it should.
What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?
For me it has been embracing humility and learning what real love means. I thought I was such a badass in my twenties! Now I’ve got my number… I don’t let myself get away with much. Now it’s about living a life of compassion and truth. It’s more important to me that I leave a legacy of kindness than a bunch of statuettes on my mantle. I believe that when you set out to live an honest life, that’s when all your dreams come true.
When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?
Well for me, forty’s more like at the water’s edge than the horizon 😉 So I guess I would say I hope it looks a lot like now. A happily married work in progress with a little more experience, wisdom, and humor thrown in. If I’m lucky, maybe the pitter patter of some little feet around the house(although with my kids I’m sure it’ll be less pitter patter and more herd of wild boar).
What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?
Without question, my go to quote is by my favorite poet, Rainer Maria Rilke.
“Let life happen to you. Believe me, Life is in the right, always.”
To me, there is no greater comfort than to trust in the almighty flow of life itself. It is the beginning, it is the end, it is everything.
xxb
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connect with Bianca: twitter
365til30.com 