Tag Archives: inspirations

enjoying where you are

6 Aug

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I’ve been thinking a lot about how much time we spend as human beings wishing we were already at the next step- turning 10, driving, turning 21, graduating, turning 30, more successful, thinner, richer, a home owner, married, a parent, a parent of two, retired etc. The list goes on. We are conditioned to always be wishing we were somewhere else. I am guilty of this. I often find that I forget to take in the step in which I am currently residing. Being present exactly were I am. The step I once longed to obtain that now feels like no big deal. There was a time not too long ago that I longed to be a wife, a home owner, working steadily as a fit model & of course a frenchie owner (!) If you would have told me that I would attain all those things I would have told you that I would be content. But that’s never the case, is it? Now that all those things are mine, I find myself longing to be in the next steps…motherhood, living in a bigger house with a bigger yard, a small business owner, making money full-time as a writer and an owner of two frenchies! Well, I’m kind of kidding about the two frenchies. I don’t think Frank would approve. He’s a one man show.

While I’m sure all those things that I wish for will bring me great joy when and if they happen, I am trying to instead pull great joy from what already is. Being grateful for what my life already looks like and let go of all the things I am hoping to get to next. I want to absorb every single joy, lesson, laugh and moment that my life has to offer me today.

Because it all passes by too quickly.

Just the other day I was reminiscing about our old apartment. Missing it, actually.  Granted when we lived in that apartment I couldn’t wait to get out of it. And now look, I miss it. I miss the simplicity of it. Life continues to get bigger and richer and fuller. I’m pretty sure as my life continues to grow, I will look back at this exact time in my life and miss it. When there are children running around our house, I’m sure I will miss the quiet I now take for granted. When we move to that bigger house with a bigger yard one day, I’m sure I will miss the place we live in now. I’ll probably feel overwhelmed with the new lawn. When we open our small business, I’m sure there are going to be days that will be completely overwhelming and I will wish I could go back to the simplicity and freedom of working as a fit model. I’ll long for the days when I tried on clothes for a living. When I finally do publish my first book, I’m sure I will start thinking about what the next one should be.

The cycle never seems to end. When are we ever happy with what is? Without immediately trying to get to the next step?

So today I am trying to remain completely present in what life currently looks like with no attachment to all that is still to come…or not to come…or might come.

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“True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.”
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

 

weekend

20 Jul

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The summer seems to be flying by at an incredible speed. It’s July 20th already? Le sigh. There are a million things I still want to accomplish this summer- a mix of work projects (I swear, I used to write on a regular basis!), personal goals (I’ve actually been doing pretty good at accomplishing these) & house projects (the list is long my friends. Top of my list is painting the walls grey and hanging art). Not to mention I would really like to make it to the beach a few more times before summer comes to a close. Although, I guess when you live in LA summer never really comes to a firm close, does it?

This weekend I…

Had the night to myself on Friday night. Brian was out for the evening with a few friends drinking beer and playing cards. Initially, I had plans to meet a few girlfriends for dinner but when those plans got pushed until next weekend I opted to stay in. I am a fan of staying in by myself. I’m a fan of doing a lot of things by myself actually. I can be such a loner! It had been a long week and I was feeling void of energy. Nothing sounded better than cozying up on the couch with Frank. So I stopped at the market on the way home from work to pick up the essentials for my party of one…a fresh bouquet of white peonies, sushi, pellegrino, trashy magazines & haagen dazs vanilla frozen yogurt. The makings of a perfect evening in my mind.

Saturday morning I had plans to meet my girlfriend Crystal for a morning hike but some very strange weather rolled into LA this weekend and it derailed that plan. I awoke Saturday morning to rain. It was such a foreign sound this time of year…well, and in general in LA lately that with all the bedroom curtains drawn I couldn’t figure out what it was at first. I was convinced it was Frank’s tiny toenails tapping on the hard wood floor until I got up to investigate and was shocked by the storm outside. The air was thick and muggy. Again, so strange. It ended up being a storm that lasted most of the day and brought with it heavy downpour, thunder and lightning. It was crazy! After abandoning the morning hike, I met some family that was in town from Kansas City (they thought our reaction to the rain was pretty funny. I had to explain that we don’t get weather around these parts often) for lunch at M Street (where I bought the massive bacon chocolate chip cookie pictured below) and then stopped for a manicure and pedicure. When I got home around four the rain was coming down really hard so Brian and I decided it was the perfect excuse to binge watch the last season of “Homeland” which we had yet to see. We literally watched the whole damn season on Saturday afternoon until the early morning hours of Sunday. Breaking only to pick up Greek take-out food for dinner. What a phenomenal season! Fucking intense. Hands down one of the best shows on television in my opinion.

On Sunday I spent the day working on a few projects- I finally redid my media kit (with my brilliant husbands help of course. Thanks, Bri!) I can’t tell you how long this has been on my to do list. An embarrassingly long time. But now it’s done and I can finally start working on putting together our fall road trip from LA to Seattle. We originally planned on taking the road trip this past spring but life got in the way so it had to be pushed to October. Which I actually think will be a pretty epic time to make the drive up the coast. Getting very excited about this trip. We wrapped up the weekend with a movie- we saw “Trainwreck” with my mom and brother. I laughed my ass off for two hours straight. That Amy Schumer is a comic genius. Not to mention she wrote the screenplay as well. I have a new crush.

 

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Friday Frankie

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watching “real housewives of new york” with mom

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the storm rolling in…

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cookie of my dreams

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big yawn

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my favorite sweatpants to lounge the afternoon away in

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done

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white / lavender

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waiting patiently for greek food handouts

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new media kit- check!

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see it!

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project 30 – angela

13 Mar

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Angela, 36

What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?

Love yourself. Love yourself. Just the way you are. You are 110% perfect in the most beautifully imperfect way. No matter how perfect someone else’s life may seem to the outside world, we are all just a work in progress. Love yourself and trust your heart – no matter what!

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

Financial planning, savings, and investments. In my early/mid 20’s I was married supporting my husband in his career. In my later 20’s I was single and determined to discover myself, and my true path in life. Looking back I was just running towards or away from things. I trusted too much that everything would work itself out in the end. It usually does, but things could have worked themselves out more in my favor had I been more present in ‘the now’ while running towards my tomorrow.

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

I wish I had of embraced my inner-rebel a lot more in my 20’s, and teens even. I was very much “the good girl.” When push comes to shove I’ve always followed my heart, but in a lot of ways some of the choices I made in my 20’s were from fear of not being accepted or loved. I think that’s the greatest blessing of being a woman in your 30’s is that you start to care less and less about what other people think. At least it’s been true for me. I wish I had of cared less about what people thought of me and made more mistakes. Not the stupid and reckless kind of mistakes (like drugs & sex) but more of the academic, fitness, entrepreneurship, and everything investing in me kind of mistakes. I would have rather failed big then than the now of looking back and having not tried from fear of what other people thought of me. I wish I had of risked failing at some things on a bigger scale.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

A lot of people don’t know this about me, but in my early/mid 20’s I was married and a mom. I’m a different woman now with different goals, and am totally happy with my life in a different kind of way. In my 20’s though I was really happy in the role of mom. Even today, thinking about moments, it makes me smile and my eyes fill up with tears (the heart warming kind). The best moments in my 20’s all include my favorite little blonde haired blue-eyed boy; word games in the grocery store, playing in the mud, sock ball fights, hide-n-seek, or snuggling on the couch to watch cartoons. Even to this day I haven’t forgotten the smell of his hair and I can still hear the sweetest words [I believe] anyone can ever hear, “Mommy, I love you.”

I’ve changed so much since then. So many things have happened, but without a doubt being a mom was the best part of my 20’s.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

In my early and mid 20’s I was supporting the career of my husband. I honestly thought I would be married in my 30’s (naturally) and where I lived wasn’t something that crossed my mind too much because then I felt that my home was with my family, no matter where we lived. I’ve always had an entrepreneurial heart, so even in my early 20’s I was still very passionate about building a successful business. I saw myself in my 30’s running a start-up or agency of sorts. Looking back though, I can see now that I needed to go through some major life changes and experiences before I could really know who I was or what gifts and talents I had to share.

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

At 30 I was living in Los Angeles, CA (and that is where we met :-). I spent my late 20’s and the beginning of my 30’s doing a lot of healing in L.A. I was really blessed to have met three phenomenal people there and they played a huge role in me becoming who I am today. In my 30’s I had the opportunity to spend moments around a lot of really successful and inspiring people. This and working with one of the most sought after personal development coaches took my belief system of what life had to offer to an entirely new level. My perspective, my bubble of what the world looked like burst open in my 30’s and I started to really believe in myself for the first time. As I’m saying this, it sounds like something dramatically life changing happened then, but it was the opposite. I worked all the time. I was quiet a lot. I asked questions. I listened. I paid attention. I believe there are times in life when you need to be in the spotlight (to share your gifts) and then there are times when you need to be behind-the-scenes (to learn lessons). Those were my behind-the-scenes years and I didn’t waist a single moment. It was all a learning experience and I’ll forever feel indebted to the universe for those opportunities.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

(Laughing) I’m still a little worried. Well, in some ways. I didn’t figure out whole-heartedly what I wanted to do with my life until around 33. I’m 36 now. I had a lot of life obstacles in my 20’s that were unexpected and very challenging especially considering my age. In some ways they set me back externally, but they pushed me forward internally. I hope that makes sense. I’m still a work in progress though even in my 30’s, and I love it! 

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

I think the whole package of knowing who you are, knowing what you want, and feeling more comfortable in your own skin makes everything about life more enjoyable in your 30’s.

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

2013 and 2014 I spent building the foundation on a few of my projects and spending a lot of time going through the motions of everyday life. 2015 I want to begin living my life on purpose again. I want to travel more, write more, and experience more. I want to have more compassion, empathy and understanding for myself and in my relationships. I want to take things to the next level in those regards. I want to work on being in the now, to create and carry a more whole and balanced ‘me’ into my 40’s (which is just three and a half years a way… yikes!!).

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

My mom use to say, “This too shall pass.”

When I was little and a teenager I thought that this saying only applied to the tough moments in life; like when I would scrape a knee or when a boy had broken my heart.

In my mid 20’s I realized it meant something very different (at least to me the meaning dramatically changed).

During that time my mom had been diagnosed terminally ill with cancer, given 4-6 months to live, and was spending the last months of her life with us (me – her only daughter, son-in-law, and grandson).

It was in those months I began to realize how precious a moment was.

Excruciating at times to watch my mom experience so much pain and loose herself to tumors, every last moment was still a blessing. It was a blessing because it was one more moment I got to spend with her.

Our time on earth isn’t guaranteed. It doesn’t belong to us. We don’t own it. Every moment is a gift and we are just the managers of the time we’re given.

I think of, “this too shall pass,” constantly. It helped me get through that time of my life, be more present, and stay grateful.

It’s not about being positive all of the time and ignoring the pain in a situation, but instead knowing that no matter what happens I’m the manager of this moment, of how I want to look at the situation in front of me, whatever actions I take next, and the memories I’m creating. Because… “This too shall pass.”

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Zihuatanejo, Mexico

2 Mar

On Valentines day weekend Brian and I went to Zihuatanejo, Mexico with his parents to celebrate a family friends 10th wedding anniversary. As I mentioned in a previous post I have been to this part of Mexico before but sadly I never left the resort that trip- how lame, huh? So it was fun to explore more of the area this round. The highlight of the trip was most definitely the day we spent on a boat- complete with a stop on an island for a fresh seafood lunch & a whale sighting. The only unfortunate part of the trip was that it remained overcast most of the time. I have to admit I was a tad bummed because I planned on getting an epic tan. But at this point, I have learned to just go with the flow when traveling and enjoy what is instead of what I thought it should be. Here’s a glimpse of our trip!

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Cheers to a great trip!

currently : one

22 Jan

 

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currently….

thinking about: how excited I am about the possibilities that 2015 already holds, our new business (can’t wait to share more!), babies (I am 32 after all:), how to be the best version of myself everyday, blogging, a new book proposal, travel plans for the year (we have four weddings on the horizon in 2015…one is in England!) expansion, speaking from my truth & being present.

grateful for: there will never be a week that goes by that I am not grateful for my husband (he just makes everything sweeter), hot baths, dates with my momma, feeling connected & sushi.

watching: Girls! I am surprised by how much I adored the first two episodes of season four (I liked the first season but hated the second season so much that I gave up on the show for a bit) but I decided to give it another shot this season and I laughed out loud while watching it- LOVE. I am also on a crusade to watch all the oscar nominated films this year before the big show…I crossed one more off my list this week, Selma- it was such a beautiful film. Watching it made me feel aware (and possibly bad) that I didn’t march in the ferguson or Michael Brown protests. I think we (or maybe just me) forget what a difference we can make in combatting injustice with our voices.

loving: my life

currently : five

15 Dec

family

our attempt at a family selfie this weekend

thinking about: ending 2014 on a positive note (it’s been a bit of a trying year!) and planning for an epic 2015. I’m in need of a fresh start and nothing says “fresh start” like a new year. We will be in Sedona to ring in the new year and I can’t think of a better place to set new intentions for the year ahead- that place is magic.

grateful for: a peaceful state of mind, my husband, pandora, english breakfast tea with vanilla cream, long walks every morning with Frankie and my ipod, a bright and cheerful office space to create in, candles, rainy weather, my little brother & clients.

watching: I’ve been going to the movies weekly this fall- so much good stuff to see! So far I’ve seen…The Skeleton twins, This Is Where I Leave You, The Good Lie, Gone Girl, Nightcrawler, Intersteller, The Theory Of Everything, Horrible Bosses 2 & Wild. Currently working on a movie review post. Oh and this past weekend Bri and watched a bunch of stuff on netflix- my favorite being the documentary “Burt’s Buzz” about the man behind the company Burt’s Bees- the guy fascinates me.

loving: the holiday season. There is nothing better than cuddling up on the couch with my little family of three next to our Christmas tree.

working on: my “end of year to do list”. It comprises of twenty things- ranging from finishing a few writing projects, to finally selling the marble slab that we removed from our kitchen island months ago (one in which has been occupying most of our guest bathroom ever since).

favorite quote at the moment : 

“You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

words

14 Oct

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This has been so so so true in my life and something I remind myself of often. Especially when I get annoyed something doesn’t go my way!

What are your thoughts?

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