Tag Archives: honesty

project 30- hillary

5 Dec
Welcome, Hillary Lowe. I think she’s a wildly funny comedian and terribly interesting human. I loved reading her project 30 answers. They were so honest and direct…and of course funny. She just says it like it is and I admire that quality in a human. Enjoy!
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What would your twenty something self tell your thirty something self if you could?

My 30-year-old self would love to tell my 20-year-old self that it does NOT get better!  Basically I would reassure my 20-year-old self with wise words that are the exact opposite of the uplifting gay/anti-bullying slogan. But while it doesn’t get better per se, your ability to cope and deal with life improves dramatically. For example, in my 20’s I would have needed a handful of Vicodan to get through the day, now that I am officially in my 30’s, 2-3 will suffice. I am kidding. But Vicodan is delicious, I would also tell my 20-year-old self to cool it with the Vicodan. I think what I am trying to say is to slow down. Be present. Yeah that’s what I meant, be present. There is no THERE out there. Be in the moment. Don’t be in your head. Speak up about what you want. Take action. Those two go together.  Wear sunscreen. Don’t park there, you’re going to get a ticket. Don’t cut bangs, ever because the week of “this is a cute change” always transpires into a year of “does anyone have a bobby pin?” and it’s just not worth it.

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

I wish I took my dreams more seriously. I put my dreams of acting, writing and comedy to the side because I felt I didn’t deserve to be able to do what I wanted to do. Clearly self-esteem was an issue (still is an issue) but that is just ridiculous because I am so awesome.

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

My body. No one cares if you are 5 pounds overweight or are at your goal weight of looking like a skeleton carrying a Prada bag. It’s really a huge waste of time and energy thinking about how you look and how much you weigh. Be healthy. Don’t obsess. Eat your veggies. Eat the cookie. No one cares.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

I remember everything, which is a curse, so it is hard to pick just one. There was a point in my 20’s where I was newly sober, newly single, reconnecting with old friends after emerging from the dark hole of drug and alcohol addiction, working with my best friend at a (Caviar) restaurant, and doing comedy. I felt very busy and connected and like everything was where it should be. That was a good time in my 20’s. I laughed a lot. The free Caviar didn’t hurt either.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

Rich and Famous. Or dead. House in the hills, or 6 feet under. My thinking is often split like this, don’t worry I am receiving professional help.

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

I just turned 30 so I am not an expert on the decade yet. My life is way more peaceful inside my mind now. I am more present. I don’t know if I have lowered my expectations or just don’t need as much attention (or maybe both) but I am ok with not being rich and famous. I am currently working on a book of short stories. I perform stand up when I feel like it. I get to express myself how I want when I want. I get to make my friends, family and the 3 people who come to my shows laugh. I am so grateful to those 3 people. And my friends and family- but my friends and family have to laugh at my stupid jokes. Or I will kill them.

I have 2 French Bulldogs, so yeah- I am doing pretty good. I mean, how many French Bulldogs do you have? You just have Frank, right? That’s one… So correct me if I am wrong because I have never been good at math- but I think that means I am doing twice as good as you are. Not that life is a competition, but if it were and if it were quantified solely on French Bulldog currency, then I am living RICH!

I also have a boyfriend and we love each other and all that cheesy stuff. Sometimes I look at this picture board we have of photos from weddings and photo booths and events- and it’s just so corny and cliché- if it were a prop in a Rom Com the Director would fire the Set Designer and say “No one would ever put up this many dorky couples photos!” It’s embarrassing.

I hope my boyfriend doesn’t read this and get upset that I mentioned the dogs before him. (Or the picture board.) But really how am I supposed to make myself look successful to readers without mentioning that I have not one, but two French Bulldogs. Can you tell me?! It’s just not possible.

Also, my Mom was just diagnosed with Stage 4 lung cancer and is going through Chemo. So it’s not all Rainbows and French Bulldogs. I am able to show up and make jokes and be present. So it’s weirdly good.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

My whole life I have felt like the sky is falling. I still feel that way sometimes, but less now.  Someone much smarter than me said that discomfort and unhappiness happen when your will and God’s will are out of alignment. Today, I think things are how they should be. And I try to be grateful for what I have instead of making a list in my mind about all the things I wish were different.

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

Now that I am officially in my 30’s I really care less about what other people think. I care what my close friends and family think, but I don’t worry so much about the small stuff or people. I meant insignificant people, not small as in little. I don’t care about regular sized strangers or little people strangers, equally.

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

3 French Bulldogs?! I hope to be happy, healthy, and have a really nice handbag. Giving back. Being of service. Making people laugh. And if I do that shit, I totally deserve a Birkin, right?

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

Probably that quote I butchered in question number 7. Or “to give is better than to receive” or something about love. Just “Love.” You can quote me on that, “Just love, you Asshole.” –Hillary Lowe.

find hillary elsewhere: twitter / facebook

project 30 – Melissa

9 Apr

I met Melissa in October at Jen Pastiloff’s manifestation yoga retreat and I couldn’t be more thankful that she was brought into my world. She’s become a big energy in my life in a very short time. We just click. It’s been easy to open up to her about things that would normally take me forever to trust someone with. There’s an easiness to our friendship. She also cracks me the f*ck up! Seriously, she’s got a funny line for everything. When I asked her to do this q&a I knew that she would bring something special to the table but when I read her finished piece, I was blown away. It’s so honest and so real. So so so good. It made me like her even more, and I didn’t think that was possible! Enjoy.

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What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

I took on other people’s drama and let things affect me so deeply. Lots of tears and energy wasted on things I couldn’t control. Focusing on what you can change and learning to say “NO” is the difference between your 20s and 30s.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

It’s funny how some the best things happen out of the worse circumstances. I tore my Achilles tendon that ended my ballet days, left my job because I was disabled, and moved back in with my parents for care. Chicago was starting to feel small so I left. In exactly 6 weeks post-surgery, I moved to Los Angeles and created a new life. I also eventually changed careers. My favorite memory is my drive and how outgoing I was. I lived it up, made solid friendships, broke some hearts, had my heart-broken, was living a life most people could only dream of, pulled some crazy shenanigans, and thankfully made it out unscathed.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

Sadly, I thought life would be like Sex and the City. I would be some sales and marketing exec for a healthcare company, living in Chicago, settling down with my now-ex (Mr. Big), and starting a family.

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

My life was in pieces and I was rebuilding. Around 29, I lost my best friend/baby sister to her battle with depression through suicide and was an emotional wreck. Though I had a solid core of friends, I felt so abandoned and depressed. I didn’t date for a year, because I couldn’t imagine opening myself to anyone else or even sharing the fact that my sister decided to leave this world on her own accord. I finally decided to stay in LA after commuting back and forth the year prior. I was working as a fashion editor in a toxic environment and struggling as a freelance wardrobe stylist crashing with friends while looking for an apartment. It was such a dark time, but made through with an incredible support system, a wonderful therapist, and my faith.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

I’ve come a long way and have gone through a metamorphosis to become the woman I am today. I have faith that things will fall into place. Yes, I fear that I won’t find a partner or accomplish my TV aspirations, but I can only control my actions and manifest! I suffered the greatest loss I can only imagine of losing my baby sister (my right arm) and learned you come into this world alone and leave alone. That was the deepest valley so I only look towards the highest mountain.

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

I’m so much more comfortable in my skin and body that I was before. Growing up training as a ballerina I had a love/hate relationship with my body especially by my breasts (which people would pay for). I have learned to listen to body and be more conscious of what goes in it, leaving the abuse of my 20s behind. I also used to have to be out all the time like I was constantly looking for something. Now I love my own company and love my space. I will always be the social butterfly, but there is no place like my home, a glass of zinfindel, jazz, and a good book.

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

Working as a TV host and having a successful personal styling business

A partner (Which is way more than a husband, because it should be a true partnership)

A loving family of my own

Giving back to young females by educating them about career preparedness and self-esteem issues

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

“Love and respect yourself completely”

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