Tag Archives: Happiness

enjoying where you are

6 Aug

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I’ve been thinking a lot about how much time we spend as human beings wishing we were already at the next step- turning 10, driving, turning 21, graduating, turning 30, more successful, thinner, richer, a home owner, married, a parent, a parent of two, retired etc. The list goes on. We are conditioned to always be wishing we were somewhere else. I am guilty of this. I often find that I forget to take in the step in which I am currently residing. Being present exactly were I am. The step I once longed to obtain that now feels like no big deal. There was a time not too long ago that I longed to be a wife, a home owner, working steadily as a fit model & of course a frenchie owner (!) If you would have told me that I would attain all those things I would have told you that I would be content. But that’s never the case, is it? Now that all those things are mine, I find myself longing to be in the next steps…motherhood, living in a bigger house with a bigger yard, a small business owner, making money full-time as a writer and an owner of two frenchies! Well, I’m kind of kidding about the two frenchies. I don’t think Frank would approve. He’s a one man show.

While I’m sure all those things that I wish for will bring me great joy when and if they happen, I am trying to instead pull great joy from what already is. Being grateful for what my life already looks like and let go of all the things I am hoping to get to next. I want to absorb every single joy, lesson, laugh and moment that my life has to offer me today.

Because it all passes by too quickly.

Just the other day I was reminiscing about our old apartment. Missing it, actually.  Granted when we lived in that apartment I couldn’t wait to get out of it. And now look, I miss it. I miss the simplicity of it. Life continues to get bigger and richer and fuller. I’m pretty sure as my life continues to grow, I will look back at this exact time in my life and miss it. When there are children running around our house, I’m sure I will miss the quiet I now take for granted. When we move to that bigger house with a bigger yard one day, I’m sure I will miss the place we live in now. I’ll probably feel overwhelmed with the new lawn. When we open our small business, I’m sure there are going to be days that will be completely overwhelming and I will wish I could go back to the simplicity and freedom of working as a fit model. I’ll long for the days when I tried on clothes for a living. When I finally do publish my first book, I’m sure I will start thinking about what the next one should be.

The cycle never seems to end. When are we ever happy with what is? Without immediately trying to get to the next step?

So today I am trying to remain completely present in what life currently looks like with no attachment to all that is still to come…or not to come…or might come.

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“True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.”
Lucius Annaeus Seneca

 

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morning / evening routines

19 Mar

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At a recent session with my therapist we were discussing the importance of routines. Especially for people like me who crave order- I find that a sense of order really helps me thwart off anxiety. When listing the things I would like to incorporate into my daily “morning” routine, a 3 mile walk with Frankie was at the top of my list. There is nothing I love more than getting out into the fresh air with music in my ears and my pup by my side. It’s so important for my head space that I move my body first thing- it helps me feel positive, energized & present.

My therapist asked, “Why then, if you know this do you not make time for it every single morning?” 

I thought about it for a minute and then said, “Well, sometimes Frank doesn’t get up in time for me to fit in before I have to go to work.”

As I said it…I could hear how ridiculous I sounded.

“So you’re on your dogs schedule? Shouldn’t he be on yours?” she said rather amused.

Trying to appear less insane than I clearly am…I said, “Well, yeah…I guess I see your point. But he’s almost impossible to move when he’s sleeping.” while taking a sip of my latte

Warmly yet firmly she said, “You have to make yourself happy first, Kate. If you’re not doing that each day, you’re not doing anyone else any good either and it’s only going to get harder when you have children. You must put yourself first, then you can take care of everyone else.” 

As foreign as the concept sounded, I knew she was right. I was suddenly reminded of when the stewardess announces before take-off that in the event of an emergency, you must put your own oxygen mask on first  before helping those around you.

With that said I went home and began working on a morning and evening routine for myself. One that would make me want to pop out of bed in the morning and one that would make me feel peaceful in the evening. Below you can see what I came up with. Granted, I don’t adhere to it perfectly every single day (life is always in flux…especially as a freelancer) but overall I have been doing a pretty good job sticking to it and I can definitely feel the difference.

morning routine

6:00am_ wake (this was much easier to do before the time change. I might need to revise this to a later time…it’s impossible for me to get out of bed when it is still dark)

6:15am_ morning pages (I write three stream of conscious pages about anything and everything. Literally whatever comes into my mind), my morning prayer (you can see it below), my morning affirmations (you can see them below) & meditation (even if only for a minute although five minutes is my goal)

6:45_ coffee with Brian before he leaves for work

7:15_ three-mile walk with Frankie

8:30_ house sweep (things like make the bed, empty the dish washer…blah blah blah)

8:45_ shower & get ready

9:30_ out of the house to a client or at my desk to work

evening routine

6:00pm_ evening walk with Frankie

6:30pm_ make dinner/ watch the news

7-9:30pm_ eat dinner, hang with Bri & watch tv

9:30pm_ daily gratitude list & read

10:30pm_ sleep!

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my morning prayer – a slightly revised version of the St. Francis prayer 

Make me a channel of thy peace,

that where there is hatred, I may bring love;

that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;

that where there is error, I may bring truth;

that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;

that where there is despair, I may bring hope;

that where there are shadows, I may bring light; 

that where there is sadness, I may bring joy;

grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;

to understand, than to be understood;

to love, than to be loved.

for it is by self-forgetting that one finds.

It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. 

my morning affirmations

“Every Cell in my body vibrates with energy and health”

 “I will accomplish my goals today”

 “I prosper wherever I turn and I know that I deserve prosperity of all kinds”

 “The more grateful I am, the more reasons I find to be grateful”

 “I express my needs and feelings”

 “I am my own unique self – special, creative and wonderful”

“My life is a joy filled with love, fun and friendship all I need do is stop all criticism, forgive, relax and be open.”

“I choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.”

“I trust in the process of life”

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So there you have it! Do any of you guys have a morning or evening routine?? I would love to hear about them if you do!

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4 Sep

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My “blog every damn day” motto has been going exceptionally well, don’t you think? I swear, I just can’t catch my breath over here.  It’s not only that life has been incredibly busy (I know…who’s isn’t?) but I  feel like my head has been in the clouds with the wedding…in the best possible way. I’ve been all mushy and romantic. I’ve really been enjoying this time in my life and our relationship. I was telling my therapist the other day that I feel like I’ve fallen in love with Brian all over again recently. Maybe it’s the fact I’m about to marry the guy and all but I swear…he’s gotten even funnier, sweeter and more handsome. I’m just smitten with the guy.

I also can’t stop daydreaming about the wedding day. The moment I replay most in my head is walking down the aisle…with my papa…surrounded by all my loved ones….towards the man I love….the man that I’ve chosen to become my husband. I actually get al little choked up every time I think of it. I’m not sure I will make it down the aisle without crying. I’ve been so focused on silly wedding details for the last eight months…like what cake should we get…what shoes should I wear…what party favors…that I didn’t give much thought to the bigger picture.  Crazy, huh? But now that  most of the details have been figured out, I’m overcome with the magnitude of the day.  The way in which this moment will change the course of my life. It’s exciting. It’s meaningful. It’s big. It’s a tad overwhelming. But, mostly it just makes me smile. Marrying Brian is probably the best decision I’ve ever made. I know, I know, I’m so annoyingly mushy!

To balance out all my mushiness here’s a few recent wedding moments that were not so mushy….

– the three-hour meeting we had with our wedding planner. By hour two Brian looked like he was having an out-of-body experience. It was painful to watch.

– when our incredibly PROPER and LOVELY wedding planner asked us if we would like to hand out glow sticks to our guests during the dancing portion of the evening and Brian deadpanned…not unless we are handing out drugs as well. She looked a bit horrified. I’m still not sure if she knows he was kidding.

– When Brian dryly said, “I’m not hugely excited about the unity candle thing” quickly deflating my unity candle plans.

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“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.”
Mignon McLaughlin

love

7 Apr

A sneak peak at our engagement shoot this weekend with One Part Gypsy

K&B

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find me elsewhere: instagram @kate365, twitterfacebook

I said yes!

22 Oct

I said yes!! I am so excited, happy and grateful. Full story coming soon…!

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14 Feb

PEOPLE THAT I LOVE : BRIAN

I have had the hardest time writing Brian’s “People That I Love” post. My feelings for him are so deep, my admiration for him is so strong and our relationship is so important to me that I felt I wouldn’t do it justice. But considering it’s Valentine’s day, I thought it would be the perfect day to try.

Brian is my best friend, my lover, my confidante, my partner in crime and my safe place. I feel like the luckiest woman in the world to have his hand to hold in this life. When I was a little girl I imagined the man I would be with (he was pretty spectacular of course) and Brian surpasses my wildest dreams. He is such a beautiful human being, partner, son, grandson, friend and I know one day he will make a beautiful father. The list of things I admire about him is long. It ranges from the way he treats his mother to how he drives a car. But the thing I admire most about him is his integrity- he is such an honest human being. He truly doesn’t know how to operate another way. He is a perfect balance of calm and steady with passion and fire. I used to think I had to choose one or the other in a partner and now I know I don’t. He inspires me constantly with his creativity. It doesn’t matter if he’s shooting photos or refinishing a frame- he pours his soul into it.

 Our personalities are perfectly matched despite being different in many ways. Unlike me, Brian always puts the cap back on things…balances his check book…makes decisions thoughtfully…actually there isn’t much Brian does without doing it thoughtfully…he’s a planner. I am a tad different. We have a joke that our relationship is like a sail boat. I’m the sailboat in this analogy- I just want to saaaaaiiiill…in every direction and go wherever the wind takes me! Brian is my keel. Many people don’t know that a sail boat needs its keel- the keel is a long, slim plank at the bottom of the hull that provides an underwater balancing force. It keeps the boat from tipping over and without a keel the sail boat would never sail.

He calls me lover. I call him Bri. There isn’t a day that goes by that I question his love for me or mine for him.

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“Love doesn’t need reason. It speaks from the irrational wisdom of the heart.”

Deepak Chopra

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24 Oct

One of my favorite videos from my favorite site Explore