Carlynn, 33 / from the fabulous blog jjbegonia
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What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?
That everything is going to work out for the best, even if it feels like just the opposite sometimes. Keep the faith. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. The heart breaks will heal and give way to new loves, opportunities, and layers of you that never would have been revealed without them. Believe in yourself and the value you bring to this world. You are going to make a lot of mistakes, but you will learn from them, and they will help guide you to where you need to be. Practice gratitude. Be thankful when things have not turned out as planned, because there are so many better, brighter things in store. Tell people you love them, even if you know they might not say it back. And always be nice – to your friends, family, strangers, and most of all to yourself. You deserve to have everything you want in this life.
What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?
I wish I had taken my passions more seriously. I have always loved to “create” through cooking, decorating, photographing, styling, and writing, but it took me a long time to nurture those things. I always saw myself as weird because my interests were so different from most of my friends’ when we were in our early 20s especially, but I wish I could have reframed that or seen it as special, instead.
What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?
Work! Not that you should ever blow off your job, but I treated every one I had as the end-all-be-all and felt burnt out very early on. I missed important events, and time spent with the people I love, in the name of getting things done, which is ridiculous.
Favorite memory from your 20’s?
There are too many memories to choose from, but they all involve travel in some way. A trip to Jordan with one of my best friends that forced me to see so far outside of myself. A cooking class I took in Italy with another BFF, where we ate everything in sight, wandered through cobblestone streets, and shared drinks with dreamy Italian men. A school program in Switzerland that introduced me to the person I think of as my “soul sister” because I have never laughed so hard with or felt so connected to a person as I did/do to her. A camping excursion to Joshua Tree that stands out as being beautiful (I loved looking at the stars!) and funny, and strange in the best way possible. A last-minute weekend in Maine with my Mom and sister that was filled with bike rides, lobster, shopping, and Scrabble games. I could go on and on… !
In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?
I thought I would be married with children, and living in New York City, working at a magazine. At one point, I think I had said I wanted to be a Sportscaster and live in Paris, too. I mean…that first part makes no sense to me even now – especially since my sports knowledge is pretty limited – but Paris might still be nice!
And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?
Oh gosh, nothing at all like that! I was a mess! I was living in Santa Monica, working a job that was draining me, and feeling very alone. 30 was a hard year for me but I look back on it now, and I am really proud of the person I was then too because that was the point at which I decided I would never live like that again, and that I had to make some changes.
Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?
All of the time!
What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?
The greatest gift is in feeling as if I am the most “me” I have ever been. I have such a better understanding of what makes me happy and what I want and need, than I ever had in my 20s. I also feel so much more secure in showing that me to the world.
When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?
I hope that life is not too different from it is now. I want to “create” forever, in whatever form that takes. My sister and I always reference my “Big. White. Kitchen.” dream. I hope to have a home with a nice place to gather, that my {eventual} husband and I can fill with children, family and friends – and good food. That really is the ultimate for me.
What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?
“Trust the timing of your life”.
This is huge for me because I have zero patience. I want what I want when I want it : ) I have learned though that everything reveals itself at exactly the right time, and that the best thing you can do in any given moment is enjoy what you have in front of you.
XOXO
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