Tag Archives: acceptance

monday morning meditation

3 Aug

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p a t i e n c e     is the     a n t i d o t e

Patience is the antidote to anger, a way to learn to love and care for whatever we meet on the path. By patience, we do not mean endurance- as in ” grin and bear it.” In any situation, instead of reacting suddenly, we could chew it, smell it, look at it, and open ourselves to seeing what’s there. The opposite of patience is aggression- the desire to jump and move, to push against our lives, to try to fill up space. The journey of patience involves relaxing, opening to whats happening, experiencing a sense of wonder.

-Pema Chodron-

I can’t stop thinking about this…

4 Nov

 

 

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I was saddened to hear the news of Brittany Maynard’s passing over the weekend. In case you haven’t heard about her story, she is the woman who recently become the face of the death with dignity movement after being diagnosed with a glioblastoma, an aggressive form of terminal brain cancer. Her story really struck a chord with me, not only because we were close in age and both newlyweds but also because two people in my family who I loved very much passed away from the same form of brain cancer and let me tell you, it is a horrible way to die.

While I know that the ‘death with dignity’ act, which advocates that terminally ill patients be allowed to receive medication that will let them die on their own terms is controversial and not the kind of topic I normally discuss on my blog, I still felt compelled to share about it. I feel strongly that people have the right to make this decision for themselves when faced with such a bleak sentence. I don’t think of it as suicide. I think Brittany summed it up perfectly…”They try to mix it up with suicide and that’s really unfair, because there’s not a single part of me that wants to die. But I am dying.”

I can’t even imagine having to make that choice but I also can’t imagine spending my last few months on earth withering away in pain. I think her choice was incredibly brave. After following her story this past month I of course knew how it would end but I was still upset when I found out that she had passed and was surprised to find myself crying. It felt funny to cry about the loss of someone I’ve never even met. But something about her story cracked my heart wide open. It reminded me how fragile life is. I was overcome with gratitude that I got another day. Another day to laugh. Another day to cry. Another day to experience it all, to have my heart cracked wide open all over again.

This was the statement that she released shortly before her passing…

“Goodbye to all my dear friends and family that I love. Today is the day I have chosen to pass away with dignity in the face of my terminal illness, this terrible brain cancer that has taken so much from me … but would have taken so much more,” she wrote on Facebook. “The world is a beautiful place, travel has been my greatest teacher, my close friends and folks are the greatest givers. I even have a ring of support around my bed as I type … Goodbye world. Spread good energy. Pay it forward!”

I loved the last two lines…spread good energy. Pay it forward 

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Did you guys follow along with this story the past month? Would love to hear your thoughts.

 

 

project 30 – bianca

24 Sep

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Bianca, 36

What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?

I would tell myself to slow down. To ease up on over-thinking everything. That where I think I’m going to be in 10 years will in no way resemble where I actually end up and yet it will all make perfect sense when I look back on it all. That life has its own plans and loves nothing more than to pull the rug out from underneath you, but that if you put your faith and trust in its wisdom it will always show you the way back onto your feet. That even the great heart breaks will come to feel like old friends, reminders of your immense capacity to find the light, even in the darkest hours. •

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

Honestly, not much. I feel like you kinda need to say “F-U” to a lot of things in your 20’s so that you can look back later on and say “I had my time as a rebel, I left no stone unturned”.

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

Time. I wish that I didn’t put so much pressure on myself to get certain things done by a specific time. Everyone’s life is as unique as their fingerprint, and there’s no need to compare yourself to anyone else. Just because so and so had the family and kids and house and dog by their 25th birthday doesn’t mean that needs to be your story. We spend so much time fighting against our natural progression and it doesn’t make anything happen any quicker, it just makes you miss out on the ride. Your life is the beautiful story about YOU. Live it without apology. You are exactly where you are supposed to be for the lessons you need to learn at any given moment.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

Driving down the coast when I moved from Seattle to Los Angeles to pursue my dream of becoming an actress. The world was my oyster. Anything was possible. What a pure, pristine moment, I will never forget that feeling.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

Oh for SURE married to Leonardo Dicaprio and living the dream with my first of many Oscars on the mantle. Hey, I like to dream big.

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

hahaha ohhhhh, on my way to a divorce and on a network sitcom where I felt artistically frustrated and unchallenged. So, you know, REALLY CLOSE to the above vision.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

ONE THOUSAND PERCENT. I felt like I had failed at everything I set out to do. I felt like a child. I felt lost and confused and scared of what might come next. So I did the only thing left to do… I asked for help. From family and friends. From wise teachers. From my dogs. I asked for help from anyone who stirred something within me. And very slowly, I started to find my way. I started to see that I was never really lost and that everything was unfolding as it should.

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

For me it has been embracing humility and learning what real love means. I thought I was such a badass in my twenties! Now I’ve got my number… I don’t let myself get away with much. Now it’s about living a life of compassion and truth. It’s more important to me that I leave a legacy of kindness than a bunch of statuettes on my mantle. I believe that when you set out to live an honest life, that’s when all your dreams come true.

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

Well for me, forty’s more like at the water’s edge than the horizon 😉 So I guess I would say I hope it looks a lot like now. A happily married work in progress with a little more experience, wisdom, and humor thrown in. If I’m lucky, maybe the pitter patter of some little feet around the house(although with my kids I’m sure it’ll be less pitter patter and more herd of wild boar).

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

Without question, my go to quote is by my favorite poet, Rainer Maria Rilke.

“Let life happen to you. Believe me, Life is in the right, always.”

To me, there is no greater comfort than to trust in the almighty flow of life itself. It is the beginning, it is the end, it is everything.

xxb

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connect with Bianca: twitter

project 30 – Melissa

9 Apr

I met Melissa in October at Jen Pastiloff’s manifestation yoga retreat and I couldn’t be more thankful that she was brought into my world. She’s become a big energy in my life in a very short time. We just click. It’s been easy to open up to her about things that would normally take me forever to trust someone with. There’s an easiness to our friendship. She also cracks me the f*ck up! Seriously, she’s got a funny line for everything. When I asked her to do this q&a I knew that she would bring something special to the table but when I read her finished piece, I was blown away. It’s so honest and so real. So so so good. It made me like her even more, and I didn’t think that was possible! Enjoy.

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What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

I took on other people’s drama and let things affect me so deeply. Lots of tears and energy wasted on things I couldn’t control. Focusing on what you can change and learning to say “NO” is the difference between your 20s and 30s.

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

It’s funny how some the best things happen out of the worse circumstances. I tore my Achilles tendon that ended my ballet days, left my job because I was disabled, and moved back in with my parents for care. Chicago was starting to feel small so I left. In exactly 6 weeks post-surgery, I moved to Los Angeles and created a new life. I also eventually changed careers. My favorite memory is my drive and how outgoing I was. I lived it up, made solid friendships, broke some hearts, had my heart-broken, was living a life most people could only dream of, pulled some crazy shenanigans, and thankfully made it out unscathed.

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

Sadly, I thought life would be like Sex and the City. I would be some sales and marketing exec for a healthcare company, living in Chicago, settling down with my now-ex (Mr. Big), and starting a family.

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

My life was in pieces and I was rebuilding. Around 29, I lost my best friend/baby sister to her battle with depression through suicide and was an emotional wreck. Though I had a solid core of friends, I felt so abandoned and depressed. I didn’t date for a year, because I couldn’t imagine opening myself to anyone else or even sharing the fact that my sister decided to leave this world on her own accord. I finally decided to stay in LA after commuting back and forth the year prior. I was working as a fashion editor in a toxic environment and struggling as a freelance wardrobe stylist crashing with friends while looking for an apartment. It was such a dark time, but made through with an incredible support system, a wonderful therapist, and my faith.

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

I’ve come a long way and have gone through a metamorphosis to become the woman I am today. I have faith that things will fall into place. Yes, I fear that I won’t find a partner or accomplish my TV aspirations, but I can only control my actions and manifest! I suffered the greatest loss I can only imagine of losing my baby sister (my right arm) and learned you come into this world alone and leave alone. That was the deepest valley so I only look towards the highest mountain.

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

I’m so much more comfortable in my skin and body that I was before. Growing up training as a ballerina I had a love/hate relationship with my body especially by my breasts (which people would pay for). I have learned to listen to body and be more conscious of what goes in it, leaving the abuse of my 20s behind. I also used to have to be out all the time like I was constantly looking for something. Now I love my own company and love my space. I will always be the social butterfly, but there is no place like my home, a glass of zinfindel, jazz, and a good book.

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

Working as a TV host and having a successful personal styling business

A partner (Which is way more than a husband, because it should be a true partnership)

A loving family of my own

Giving back to young females by educating them about career preparedness and self-esteem issues

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by?

“Love and respect yourself completely”

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