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best man speech…

22 Nov

bri & jer

One (I have a few!) of my favorite speeches from our wedding was given by Brian’s best man, Jeremy. I knew he wouldn’t disappoint- what can I say…he’s just a really funny guy. But what I didn’t expect was for him to also make me cry….

Thank you, Jeremy. You killed it. 


Brian asked me to be his best man on Christmas Eve while I was over at Steve and Zina’s for dinner, a longstanding tradition and one that they have been kind enough to include me in for many years.  It’s something I look forward to every year and I’m pretty sure Zina and Steve like having me there as well.  I tell Zina all the gossip about Brian that he won’t share — and Steve gets to talk about football and golf for a night instead of photography and succulents.

I was touched and immediately excited by the two responsibilities that befall a best man.  The first was planning the bachelor party. The second of course is writing and giving a speech.  After lots of discussion on the appropriate level of intoxication with thus I should be delivering this speech we—- Brian, Kate, their families and my Rabbi — settled somewhere just past the point of legally too drunk to operate heavy machinery and just short of when the crying starts. I’ll let you all be the judge if I’ve appropriately walked that line.

I came to Campbell Hall in 9th grade and I think it’s safe to say that Brian and I were not fast friends.  I had a few things working against me.  I was new. I only used 2 ounces of hair gel per application as opposed to Brian’s mandatory 4 ounces and most importantly the fact that Brian already had friends.   As most of you probably know, Brian is a bit of a creature of habit — and by creature of habit I mean Robot.  He already had friends so why did he need any new ones?  Bottom line is Brian thought he was too cool for me, which to this day I still find offensive.  Kate on the other was actually too cool for both Brian and I so at least that made sense.

But as luck would have it there is one thing that trumps all other qualifications for friendship when you’re in high school and too young to drive.  More important than common interests, similar class schedule, whether you can actually stand each other or not — Geography.  It’s no coincidence that all three Campbell Hall Alumni in Brian’s wedding party grew up within 2 miles of each other.  Kate, I imagine that this might sound strange to you.  You’re probably sitting there wondering why we didn’t just get upper class guys with cars and licenses to drive us around.  Just trust me that option was not on the table.  Brian and I didn’t choose each other, Geography did.

So thanks to the fact that Brian and I lived a mile apart and neither my parents, nor Steve and Zi na had any interest in driving us around — thank you both — Brian gave in and we set off on our friendship.  Not that there weren’t rocky moments; Not speaking to each other for six months after a disastrous class trip to the Colorado river where Brian refused to paddle and for a moment it seemed like we would both die together, stranded in a canoe.  Me making it my life’s work trying destroy Brian’s Buddha for an entire semester.  No that’s not a metaphor.  I literally tried to destroy his Buddha every single day. Or the time when Brian ditched me on a ski trip to Tahoe.  That experience was much worse than it sounds.  But we survived, mostly because Brian is a robot and it’s easier to keep the friends you have than make new ones, even if that friend is me.

But then something very strange happened.  Brian and Kate reconnected, started dating and Brian started acting very weird.  He started doing very unlike Brian things.  A recap of Brian’s weekends before he began dating Kate would almost solely subsist of the following in some order: Got drunk, went surfing, fruitlessly talked to women, ate burritos.  Now please don’t lump me into this way of life by association.   I don’t know how to surf.

But then Brian’s weekends started to include eating at Vegetarian restaurants, doing yoga and going on weekend trips up the coast, to Sedona or camping.  And this stuff was a little surprising to me but it was all conceivable.  When I would lie awake at night or lose myself in the shower thinking about Brian and his life none of this shocked me. —  But then things just got crazy.  He started talking about… feelings and specifically his feelings for Kate.  I was pretty sure Brian didn’t know what feelings were but I was positive he didn’t have them.  I spent the next six months searching for signs that Kate had replaced the old Brian with a new and improved Robot model that just happened to look like Brian.  He still dressed like a metrosexual lumberjack — but he had a new haircut so hey it seemed possible.  But nope.  It was the real Brian.  He was expanding his life, discovering new experiences and having and even expressing these bizarre things the rest of us know as feelings.

They say love is all powerful.  We are all here tonight to bear witness.  A real life robot has become a real life man.

Now I don’t want you all to take this tale the wrong way.  This is just kind of tone of Brian’s and my relationship.  Brian drove me to high school every day our senior year.  He would show up on time every day and I would never be ready.  He would get out of the car, bang on my window and wait for me to crack the blinds and confirm what he already knew. I was still sleeping. —  I’d open the door and make him watch 90210 reruns on Sopanet while my parents walked around  the house in their bathrobes and I showered and got ready.  This happened every single day.  Now if someone can tell me how a high school senior would rather start the day then that,  —  I’m still waiting to hear it.  But please don’t feel bad for Brian.  All this wasn’t for naught.  After an entire year of this, as a thank you my mom bought Brian a 200 count CD case. —  So after 16 years, one of us has the best friend a guy could ask for and one of us has a CD case.

To Brian and Kate and a lifetime of happiness.



so…now what?

20 Nov


The dust has settled. We are married and I don’t have to be stressed, consumed and focused on the wedding anymore. So…now what? HA. Seriously though, it’s a blessing to have the head space again for the rest of my life. I’m sure you all noticed I blogged much less leading up to the wedding. I also wrote less essays in general, stopped focusing on writing my book & finishing other work projects. I hit a serious wall. This year was magical for so many reasons. My life came together in so many ways- Brian and I got engaged, bought a house, traveled to Asia, planned a wedding, bought a puppy and got married. Can you say…exhausting? Neither of us felt like we had much head space for anything else other than getting through the day. Problems of abundance, I know. I’m not complaining in the least, I’m just saying it was a year focused on building my home life and not so much my career. But, now I am ready to throw myself back in head first. With everything I have. I missed writing and creating in general terribly. It definitely left a void in me. But, I felt tapped out and unable to connect to that part of me. So, I decided to go with the flow of life and let myself focus on other things. It was what it was and I knew in my heart it would come back at some point. Life is a long journey and everything ebbs and flows. I tried not to fight it. Well, that’s not entirely true….I did try to fight it and was being very hard on myself, but, with the help of my fabulous therapist I lightened up. I gave myself the freedom to enjoy what was and go with the flow. She also reminded me that sometimes the inspiration comes from living your life.

But, now the time has come to start working again and I am so ready. SO READY. I’m currently sitting at a cozy little coffee shop by my house with a day of writing ahead. And go!

* On a totally unrelated note: somebody please come to my home and take all the leftover wedding cake away from me. I must be stopped. 

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in the banana stand

19 Nov

As most of you already know I really wanted a photo booth at our wedding. It was on my list of “must haves”. Why? Because, I think drunk people need activities. There is only so much drinking and dancing guests can do before they get bored, you know? Having a photo booth sadly wasn’t very important to Brian. Silly boy. That was until our wedding photographer mentioned his brother ran an amazing photo booth with insanely fun props and costumes. The booth could also house a bunch of people rather than 2-3 lonely heads with no bodies. The minute we looked at the website we knew it was for us. Even Brian got excited. Success.

Considering I don’t have all of our fancy wedding photos to share just yet (I swear, how am I expected to wait 4-6 weeks?!) I thought I would share some of the silly ones (there are hundreds! But I’m only sharing a few. Don’t worry) in the meantime. As you will see from the photos below…it was a HIT. Enjoy!






untitled-1013-Suntitled-1135-Suntitled-1264-Suntitled-1269-Suntitled-1380-Suntitled-1404-Suntitled-1673-Suntitled-1857-Suntitled-2076-Suntitled-2107-Suntitled-2141-Suntitled-2267-S that poor poor bear & banana

we did it!

18 Nov


(happiness is…the photo above)

We did it! We are officially husband and wife. I can’t say that anything feels too different just yet. Well, other than the fact I giggle like a school girl every time I introduce Brian as my husband, oh, and when I catch a glimpse of his wedding ring my heart skips a beat. Ok, so maybe a few things have changed around here but overall it still feels like us. A slightly calmer more settled version of us. We can finally close the “planning a wedding chapter” in our lives. A chapter that was fun at times but challenging a lot of the time. It’s exhausting…both emotionally and financially to plan a wedding. But despite all that we made it! And you couldn’t find two happier people to be married.

The last ten days has felt like a total blur. In a good way though…a really good way. The funny thing is, I expected that they would but in a really horrible way. In an anxiety filled way. In a overwhelminly blurry way. I imagined being stuck in my head on the big day. Filled with fear something would go wrong.

But, what happened on our wedding weekend completely surprised me. I wasn’t anxious, not a bit. Instead I was wound up on joy, love and gratitude. I was surrounded by family and friends who had come near and far to stand by me as I married the love of my life. Such an overwhelmingly good feeling. How lucky am I? And what the hell did I have to be anxious about? The only thing I felt was…sure. Sure that Brian was who I am meant to be with…sure that I lucked out in the friends and family department…sure that Brian and I would always stand by each others side in this life…and sure that everything that has happened in my life up to this point (the good and the bad) had led me to exactly where I stand now.

The day was perfect. From start to finish. I spent the morning at a hotel with all my bridesmaids and my mama getting ready. We sipped mimosas, talked about life, marriage, weddings and babies. We laughed a lot. Each one of them showed up with huge smiles on their faces that morning ready to celebrate. I could feel the love in the room and it put me in a really centered place.

my girls


One of my favorite pep talks was from my girlfriend Ali who recently got married. She pulled me in a bathroom and said “if you get too overwhelmed walking down the aisle or during the ceremony focus on something really unemotional like a plant or somebody who you don’t really care for.” HA. Good talk. Good talk.

By one pm we were all zipping up our dresses and heading out the door…and that’s when it set in. It was game time and I had never been more ready to go.

more on wedding tomorrow…

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4 Nov

five days! FIVE. I’m so damn excited and so damn nervous. The last few days I’ve vacillated between both extremes. Last night Brian and I went out to an early dinner at our favorite little neighborhood spot the Corner Door and I spent the whole dinner with a huge smile on my face going on and on about how excited I was. Then this morning I woke up at 5:30 to go to a Bar Method class and spent the whole class running through everything that I am nervous about. It’s mostly just a list of things that could go wrong. Like what if I end up hating the colors scheme, what if I fall walking down the aisle, what if my something goes wrong with the cake, or the food or the music!? Blah. Blah. Blah. The emotionally evolved part of me knows that it won’t matter because I will be so damn happy and full of gratitude that nothing could change that. But the perfectionist in me is also rearing its ugly head! Le sigh.

Other than my emotional pendulum swinging back and forth and an incredible speed it was a rather quiet weekend around our house.

I packed my bag for the wedding weekend…


snuggled with Frank…


We planted 150 baby succulents for the wedding…If I never saw another baby succulent again I would be fine.


oh and I picked up my gown (which is now slightly big on me. I CAN”T WIN)!! We  also finalized the music, ceremony and the seating. Success. Now I get to spend the week counting down the days until I get to become Brian’s wife. I’m a very lucky gal.

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27 Oct

Sweet baby Jesus. We’re getting married in 13 days. That’s less than two weeks in case you didn’t know. That’s just crazy. I’m sorry I haven’t been posting much (well, at all really) the last week or so. I think I’ve been a bit paralyzed by everything. Man I thought turning thirty was overwhelming but a wedding is a whole different animal. There’s been so much to do and finalize these last two weeks that every time I would sit down to write I wasn’t quite sure what to share. My head felt like a jumbled mess. On top of all the stress I’m filled with silly excitement now. Just can’t wait to be married to that man.

This weekend we slowed everything down and spent a lot of one on one time with each other. We spent Saturday morning at Brian’s office using their laser cutter for a wedding project. Well, let’s be honest…Brian was using the laser cuter while I spent hours perusing the internet for a dress to wear to our rehearsal dinner. Who knew that finding a rehearsal dress would be harder than a wedding dress? I have a vision people! Anyways, after four hours of work I still had no dress but the project was done so we decided to take ourselves to The Lazy Ox for lunch before heading home. We pretty much had the place to ourselves and we took advantage of it and had a long, lazy and delicious lunch. It was exactly what we needed. Saturday night we headed to the movies to see “Bad Grandpa” which seriously cracked me up. I haven’t laughed that hard a while. I’m a sucker for that kind of humor.

Oh and we also put the finishing touches on our mini moon this weekend. Brian and I decided to postpone our big honeymoon until spring. One because we were finding it hard to plan both the wedding and a month-long trip to Asia and two because I really want to go to Bali and it’s their rainy season now. And who wants to go to Bali when it’s raining most of the day, you know? So with our big trip postponed until the spring Brian and I decided to plan a little trip after the wedding because it would have been much to depressing to go back to work on Monday. So we are hitting the road the day after the wedding. First stop…Big Sur…which is one of our favorite spots. I love that you rarely get cell service there. I love that you’re surrounded by majestic redwoods. I love the windy road up the coast with the vast ocean views. I love the quiet. Brian found us the perfect little cabin to cozy up in for a night. All I want to do is play cards, drink red wine and cuddle by the fireplace for the whole evening.


Then we are heading up the coast to Tomales Bay in Northern California for a few nights. Neither of us have ever been up there so we are both excited to explore. It’s known for its fresh oysters which makes both Brian and I very excited. I’m quite sure we will spend a lot of time eating oysters and sipping cold beers in the sun while staring at the pacific. We will probably throw in a hike or two as well. Then we are off to San Francisco for a night in the city. Not quite sure what we will do yet but I’m sure we will find something fun to get into to. Lastly, we will be finishing up our mini moon in Berkley because Brian has a work conference to attend. I’m just along for the ride at that point. I’m sure I’ll just get lost on foot around Berkley exploring.

I know these next few weeks are going to fly by and I’m trying to enjoy every single little moment.

So grateful.

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14 Oct


I’d say this past weekend was a successful one. Brian and I have implemented a “no plans” rule for the month of October in preparation for our wedding. We thought it would help us stay present, calm and most importantly rested. I also want to spend as much time with him as possible before the big day. I just want to savour every moment.

The weekends are for us to do whatever we please and that’s exactly what we did.

Brian took Friday afternoon off from work so we could get our marriage license and oh what a fun little activity it was. We were both totally giggly as we filled out the paperwork. It all felt very very very real and very very very romantic. I may have even blushed when I filled out the “new name” line when I wrote Kate Glodney. There it was in print and it made us both smile. I think Brian may have even blushed as well. Once we were done filling out the paperwork we waited in line holding hands while sneaking in a few kisses. There we were in a stuffy courthouse waiting room with silly Halloween decorations hanging all around and us and there was nowhere else I would have rather been. Everything felt right in the world. Twenty minutes and ninety bucks later we had our official marriage license in hand. We decided to make a date out of it and grabbed a late lunch, then a few drinks at a happy hour and then went to an early evening showing of “Don Jon”. Such a perfect way to spend an afternoon.

Saturday was judgement day…as in it was my second wedding dress fitting since Olga told me a should lose a few pounds to make my dress fit better. Good news…juice cleanses really do work! The dress fit perfectly. She even had to take it in. Success. I decided to celebrate by making Brian take me out for greasy Mexican food and margaritas. Totally backwards I know but it felt oh so good.

Sunday we stayed with theme and let the day take us where it may. We spent the morning in our pj’s working on wedding seating, then we took Frank to the dog park so he could terrorize as many dogs possible, then we had a leisurely lunch in our neighborhood and spent the rest of the afternoon hanging around the house finishing up the evening with takeout and an episode of “Homeland”.

Even Frank was relaxed from the weekend…winning.




9 Oct

Ways in which to distract yourself while you are starving…

I’m three days into my five days of “fit into your wedding dress” green juice cleanse and I’m surviving! Truth is, day one is the worst and then it gets a bit easier. By day two I was on a high with all the energy. This doesn’t mean I’m not hungry or that I don’t have to hide in the bathroom while Brian eats his dinner every night…it just means I have more energy. I have found many ways to distract myself from the starvation the last three days….

1- researching Frank’s Halloween costume. Considering this is his first Halloween, I’m very excited. The top contenders…

1234Mario Lopez dresses his dog up as a 'Taco' for Halloween! LA6

thoughts? Any favorites?

2- doing wedding seating…which is a truly painful activity. I’ve had more fun at the dentist but it does pass the time when you are starving.

photo-353- watching television with my boys. All our favorite shows are back!

photo-404- organizing our kitchen to make room for all of our new wedding gifts. Seriously, it’s just insane the amount of fabulous gifts that arrive at our door each day. So blessed.

photo-385) monday night movie dates with my momma and brother. We saw “Gravity” and it was INTENSE. Made me totally forget I was starving and also gave me nightmares.



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7 Oct


my head at 2:15 am while lying in bed wide awake…

ugh why can’t I sleep? I just want to sleep. Wonder if I will survive the five-day green juice cleanse this week? Five days…what was I thinking. Oh well. wow thirty- three days until I become a wife. A wife. Still feels surreal. I’m going to be somebody’s wife. That still sounds so adult. Can’t believe it’s already next month. I feel like everything is moving so fast. Such a beautiful shower thrown in my honor by the Glodney women this weekend. I’m so lucky. Really, I hit the jackpot as far as families go. Did I pay my cell phone bill? Can’t remember. I’ll check tomorrow. Why can’t I sleep. I should probably take some of the kitchen stuff off the registry. We can’t fit much more! Maybe I should cook a few new recipes this week with all our new beautiful kitchen appliances. Oh yeah…I’m not eating this week. Blah. Only bright side of this cleanse is sticking it to Olga at my next wedding dress fitting. That will feel good. I guess. I’m going to eat a cheeseburger for lunch after…with a glass of wine. That’s probably going to feel even better. Ugh…bills…bills…bills. So many bills. Wonder when our property taxes are due? Probably the week of our wedding. Wonder what color I should paint my nails for the wedding? Should I go bright for fun? Or pale pink? Will anyone even notice. No. I need to finish the seating chart this week. I hate seating charts. So many feelings. Somebody’s probably going to hate their seat. Shit, it’s 3 am. Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep. Ugh and I have to get up at 5:45 for Bar Method class. I really gotta stop signing up for the 6:30 am class. I hate it. Why do I torture myself by signing up for it? I’m hot. Is the air on? I should probably check. I don’t really want to get up though. I think I’m going to mix all the families at various tables at the wedding. That could be fun. Then everyone gets to know each other, right? I hope I can sit in my wedding dress. If this green juice cleanse doesn’t give me the option of sitting in my wedding dress then something is wrong with the world. This weekend was nice. Brian and I had a really nice Sunday. I love him. It felt nice just hanging. Maybe I’ll take Frank to the dog park tomorrow. Yeah, I’ll do that at some point. Or maybe a hike? I hope Frank is happy. Maybe another puppy at some point. Maybe he needs a friend? No, Brian would kill me. Ok so maybe not a puppy. Maybe I’ll just find a puppy play group. What if I fall in my insanely high heels walking down the aisle. Seriously…that would happen to me. No, I won’t fall. I’ll have my dads arm to hold on to. Shoot I need to find a song to dance with him to at my wedding. I’m going to be a wife in thirty-three days. I’m going to be a wife in thirty-three days. Surreal.


25 Sep

mr & mrs

So, I had my first wedding dress fitting last weekend and well, I wouldn’t say it went great. I had big plans that it would. The game plan was to eat only salads and drink only green juices five days leading up to the fitting. You know, like any normal bride would do. But I’ve learned that I’m not “any normal bride”- instead I did everything one shouldn’t do five days before their first wedding dress fitting. I spent the week eating carbs, drinking wine and eating sweets. The low was actually eating pizza for lunch before my 3:00 pm appointment. I mean, what the eff is wrong with me, right? Am I insane??? I don’t even eat pizza. Actually, I rarely even eat carbs!

I’ve always been the type of person that if you tell me to NOT do something…I’m like…watch me. Clearly, I haven’t changed much.

When I walked into Monique Lhuillier the day of I was still optimistic that my week on the dark side wasn’t going to effect me. I glanced around at the other brides getting fit- it was a sea of six-foot, stick thin ladies. I didn’t remember there being so many of them the last time I was here. It was like a model convention. Clearly, the universe was screwing with me. When my seamstress, Olga called my name I took a big gulp of water and reminded myself that I would probably be just fine. I mean, I work out four days a week and all. But the minute she zipped up my dress, I knew…I knew I was fucked. Sure it zipped, but walking was labored and sitting down was near to impossible. Naughty bride. Naughty bride. Naughty bride.

Olga stood there quietly adjusting my dress.

I said, “So, how many more fittings do we have before the big day?”

She said, “At least three but sometimes up to four.

Ok, good” I said causally “because I want to lose a few pounds in the meantime…it feels a bit snug.”

She pursed her lips, looked at me with concern and said, “I hate telling brides this, but, um….yes, you should lose at least five pounds before your next fitting…in three weeks.

This is exactly what you DON’T want to hear your seamstress say six weeks before your wedding.

When I got in my car I immediately called Brian and dramatically yelled, “Why did you let me eat all that pizza this week!! My dress barely fit!”

Clearly, my situation was his fault.

Can’t they just let the dress out a bit?” He asked lovingly

“What an insane question! NO!”

I was suddenly reminded of the scene in Bride Wars in which Kate Hudson’s character screams…

“You don’t alter Vera to fit you, you alter yourself to fit Vera!!!!!!!”

My life had become a scene from Bride Wars. Sigh.

“I can’t even sit in it!” I yelled

“Well, people always say that you never sit down at your own wedding anyway.” He said

Hysterical, Brian. Hyssssssterical.

So, now what? What’s the game plan? Well, I won’t be eating pizza anymore, that’s for sure. I will also not be enjoying carbs in general, sweets or dairy. Jealous? Oh, and I will also be saying goodbye to my favorite thing…buttery chardonnay. Big sigh. It all seems like a cruel joke considering the stress weddings come with.. One needs buttery chardonnay and pizza.

45 days! YAY!


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