I’m guessing from the title of this post you know what’s coming…A BABY!!!!!!! Can you tell I’m happy about this news? Actually, happy isn’t a grand enough word to describe how I feel. I’m literally bursting at the seams with joy. I can’t seem to wipe the huge smile off my face. It’s been 75 days since I first held the positive pregnancy test in my hands and I still feel like I am floating on a cloud. The whole thing feels unreal despite the bulge at my midsection.
Brian and I started “trying” for a baby in June. I had heard it could take up to a year to get pregnant but I decided I was going to get pregnant the first month. Such an overachiever, huh? So imagine my surprise when I didn’t get pregnant that first month. I immediately started worrying. From then on, getting pregnant became all I could think about. I researched everything on the subject…what to eat, what not to eat, fertility boosters, stress relievers, positions, blah blah blah. In an attempt to get my body in tip-top shape I cut out alcohol, limited my caffeine intake, got off any anxiety medicine and started eating even healthier than I already did, all in hopes it would boost my chances of getting pregnant. After three months of trying…still no baby.
I was feeling rather defeated by the whole process. I am a person who believes that actions should yield results and my actions weren’t yielding the desired results.
I am aware that three months isn’t a very long time but it felt like an eternity to me. When you’re ready…you’re ready, you know? The process was a good lesson for me- I don’t control the universe. As much as I’d like to…I don’t and sadly, I never will. For a person who craves control, this is always a hard pill for me swallow.
I realized I had to refocus my energy. Instead of tightly griping on to my ideas of how it should go, I had to trust the process. I had to trust that our baby would come when it was meant to be. I had to trust the divine timing of it all. There’s magic in the things we can’t control. I truly believe the universe has an order to it and once I reminded myself of that I was able to surrender.
It was around this time I got pregnant.
September 16th…
My period wasn’t due for four days but I had been feeling “off” for close to a week with cramping and lower back aches. I just felt weird. Of course this made me excited that I could possibly be pregnant but I also tried to remain cautious about getting too excited…I didn’t want to be disappointed. After Brian left for work that morning I was lying in bed sipping my coffee when I remembered that I had an unopened package of First Responses under the sink in the bathroom (a pregnancy test that you can take six days before your missed period). So I thought…why not? If it’s negative I will try another test in a few days again. Nothing lost, right?
So I took the test…set the alarm for three minutes….sat on the bathroom floor in my pjs and continued to sip my coffee while I waited.
Three minutes later the alarm went off and I peered at the test.
And there it was….
That moment was an out-of-body experience. A billion thoughts rushed through my head in a millisecond. OMG! It says YES! I’m going to be a mother…we’re going to have a baby!!!…I can’t wait to tell Brian!!…OMG…Holy shit…I’m going to be somebody’s mom…HOLY SHIT…HOLY SHIT…HOLY SHIT…there’s a tiny human in my belly! What a fucking miracle! Shit…am I allowed to drink coffee now that I’m pregnant??? The last thought left me running to the sink to spit out my mouthful of coffee. I continued to stand there and stare at the positive test in my hand- unable to grasp the fact that this was really happening. Becoming a parent is such an abstract thought…until it isn’t. A wave of emotion came over me and I started to cry. I felt so grateful. So elated. So nervous. So shocked. So insanely happy.
It makes Frank very uncomfortable when I cry and he anxiously peered up at me with his big brown eyes. I kept reassuring him it was ok, that I was just happy. Then I informed him he was going to be a big brother. ha.
Still unable to catch my breath and with tears streaming down my face I picked up the phone to call Brian. Then I thought better of it and hung up. I didn’t want him to find out he was going to be a father in a hurried phone call between meetings at work, so I dialed my mother instead. She sleepily picked up the phone (it was 7 am after all) and I began to sob even harder.
To which she fearfully replied, “Kate??? What’s wrong???! Are you ok??!”
“I’m preeeee- ga- nant!!” I said between tears.
“What???”she said
“I’m PREGNANT!” I said
“You are!!? Why are you crying then???”
“I don’t know” sniffle “I guess I’m just overwhelmed.”
So, that’s how my mom found out.
After hanging up with her I began to ponder my next step. I felt emotionally paralyzed. I guess I was supposed to go to the doctor for blood work to confirm it? Yeah, that seemed right. So I got dressed and drove to my doctor’s office. A few hours later I got the call…I was most definitely pregnant! The next thing on my agenda…how to tell Brian the news. I went back and forth on various ideas. Even googling “how to tell your partner you’re pregnant”- let me tell you…there are some really creative people out there. So many brilliant ideas. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to put on a big show or just tell him the news. I tried to think of ways to bring Frank into the announcement as well. Maybe I could find a shirt that read “I’m going to be a big brother” and squeeze Frank into it before Brian got home? Sadly, I was crunched for time so instead of driving around town in search of a big brother shirt for Frank, I headed to the bookstore in search of a book about becoming a father for Brian. I settled on a book that’s cover read…“DUDE, YOU’RE GOING TO BE A DAD!” with a bunch of sperm swimming around. I thought the swimming sperm was a nice touch.
I taped the positive test stick to the cover of the book (not quite sure why I thought the book title wouldn’t be clear enough?) and put it at the bottom of a newly folded pile of clothes out of the dryer. When Brian got home from work I asked him to go thru the pile to make sure everything was his before putting it away. He went thru each shirt…yes…yes…yes…yes…no…yes…then he got to the book..looked right at it and moved on- clearly, it didn’t register at first. Then he stopped in his tracks…went back to the book…peered at me with wide eyes and said…REALLY??!
I said…YES!!!
He stood there quietly. I wasn’t quite sure what was coming next. Tears, maybe?? Brian doesn’t do well with surprises. After a few moments…he made a move…hugged me tightly and said…”I’m so happy for you!”
HAAAAA.
“I’m so happy for you” Best. Response. Ever. Like I was some stranger on the street who just told him she was pregnant.
I said, “You’re so happy for ME? You are aware that I didn’t get pregnant on my own right?”
He will never live that response down- NEVER. I won’t let him. I was expecting tears. people! Poor boy was in total shock. After an hour (and a few beers) the shock had worn off and he was excitedly touching my belly. He just needed a minute to let it all sink in.
So there you have it…we’re having a BABY!!!
And we found out last week it’s a baby boy!!!
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365til30.com 
Great News! Congrats! I love your first-time-mom moment when you spit out a mouthful of coffee.
Thank you!!! I do miss my endless cups of caffeine! Seems like a totally fair trade though 🙂
Well Kate Congratulations. I am so excited for you and Brian..lol.
Looks like your mom and I will have a baby grandson at the same time.
Divine timing I must day.
Yippee.
I know! How crazy is that timing!! love it
Congrats – what wonderful news. Babies are the best thing ever (writting with my 7 weeks old nugget lying asleep on my chest) ❤ Enjoy the ride 🎉
Awe, thanks for your lovely words. I am so so so excited. Congrats to you sweet mama 🙂
Congrats to both of you (and frank). Little boys are seriously the best!!! Enjoy the adventure these next few months… So much more excitement is right around the corner 😉
Thank you, Sarah!!! I am so excited for a boy. It’s what I was hoping for 🙂
We were hoping for a boy too, so of course I convinced myself I was having a girl. When the ultrasound tech told is BOY I literally high fived Daniel in excitement. Ha!
That is EXACTLY what our story sounded like!!! I was convinced it was a girl! hahah
Love everything about this post. I think Brian’s response is adorable. So happy for you, my friend! Cannot wait to see photos of your precious little one and, hopefully, meet him some day 🙂 ❤
Thank you, Diane!!! I hope next time you come out sweet Charlotte is with you and we can all get together. That would be so fun 🙂
Congratulations Kate. Becoming a parent is one of the most incredible journeys you will experience in life. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy!
Thank you, Lynn!! I am so excited for the journey.
HOORAY!!!! The sweetest ever. So happy for all of you! xoxoo
THANK YOU SWEETS!! xo
Kate! You’re so cute! You made me laugh, you made me cry you made me think hehe you are going to be an awesome mommy and I am so happy for you and your hubby. I just had to come read the story. Doesn’t it feel like such a relief when you announce it? It’s like it almost becomes more real more “official” than it already was/is hehe HUGE HUG beautiful congrats again
Such a relief!! It definitely feels more real after sharing. I’m also horrible at keeping secrets so it was very hard for me to keep mum. I was so excited I just wanted to tell everybody!!! I ended up telling tons of random strangers LOL
Kate, that’s the best news I’ve heard all year! Congrats! I’m so happy for you!!!!
Thank you, Candice!!!! 🙂
DOUBLE OMG – BABY and Baby is a BOY – How Exciting – So Happy for the 3 of You – Frank will be the BEST BIG BRO EVER – Congrats!!!
Your comments always put a smile on my face. Thank you for your sweet words!!! I’m hoping Frank warms up to the idea of sharing the love with a little one. He’s definitely a one man show 🙂
The one man show will have a side kick like it or not – ha! Frank should think of you being the only female in all those males.
Congratulations Kate!!!! I had a feeling that something was going on for some strange reason, even though we only know each other over the internet. I am SO EXCITED for you! What a beautiful family you are going to make – and there are so many more reasons to celebrate this holiday season now!
What a beautiful tale. Your writing style is such a treat to read; you have a gift.
So happy for you and Brian
Congratulations!!! You don’t know me at all but your story brings me so much joy! I wish you a healthy and love-filled pregnancy! ❤
What a lovely comment Samantha!! Thank you for your sweet and generous words. I’m so happy you stopped by! Hope you have a beautiful December!! 🙂
I am so happy-for both of you. Your child will be especially fortunate to have two welcoming and devoted parents. Frank will surely be a devoted protector, as well! Next spring will be a very special time for your lovely family of four.
Thank you for your sweet and generous words. I always appreciate your support!! I hope you’re right about Frank. I’m nervous he’s going to feel replaced!
such a beautiful picture of you two! i am so excited to follow along on this new adventure. it is seriously the best–being a parent–challenging and exhausting and beautiful! big hugs and love to you and brian, and for pete’s sake…more belly pics please!
Thanks for your support sweet lady. I’ve loved following along on your parenting adventures! You make mommy hood look good 🙂
Congrats to you and Brian! I haven’t done a good job keeping up with blogs so I’m glad you announced it on Instagram! Brian’s response is hilarious, sounds like he was trying to process it haha. Hopefully Frank will adjust to having a sibling, I have no idea how you go about introducing a baby to a dog?? They’ll be best buddies though and I fully expect baby and dog photos when the time comes! Enjoy this time. 🙂
Thank you!!! Believe me…I will be researching everything I can about dog and new baby introductions! I’ll try to make it smooth for all parties involved 🙂
I’m so happy for you!!!!! I’ve been waiting for this post! 💖