I’ve been thinking a lot about how much time we spend as human beings wishing we were already at the next step- turning 10, driving, turning 21, graduating, turning 30, more successful, thinner, richer, a home owner, married, a parent, a parent of two, retired etc. The list goes on. We are conditioned to always be wishing we were somewhere else. I am guilty of this. I often find that I forget to take in the step in which I am currently residing. Being present exactly were I am. The step I once longed to obtain that now feels like no big deal. There was a time not too long ago that I longed to be a wife, a home owner, working steadily as a fit model & of course a frenchie owner (!) If you would have told me that I would attain all those things I would have told you that I would be content. But that’s never the case, is it? Now that all those things are mine, I find myself longing to be in the next steps…motherhood, living in a bigger house with a bigger yard, a small business owner, making money full-time as a writer and an owner of two frenchies! Well, I’m kind of kidding about the two frenchies. I don’t think Frank would approve. He’s a one man show.
While I’m sure all those things that I wish for will bring me great joy when and if they happen, I am trying to instead pull great joy from what already is. Being grateful for what my life already looks like and let go of all the things I am hoping to get to next. I want to absorb every single joy, lesson, laugh and moment that my life has to offer me today.
Because it all passes by too quickly.
Just the other day I was reminiscing about our old apartment. Missing it, actually. Granted when we lived in that apartment I couldn’t wait to get out of it. And now look, I miss it. I miss the simplicity of it. Life continues to get bigger and richer and fuller. I’m pretty sure as my life continues to grow, I will look back at this exact time in my life and miss it. When there are children running around our house, I’m sure I will miss the quiet I now take for granted. When we move to that bigger house with a bigger yard one day, I’m sure I will miss the place we live in now. I’ll probably feel overwhelmed with the new lawn. When we open our small business, I’m sure there are going to be days that will be completely overwhelming and I will wish I could go back to the simplicity and freedom of working as a fit model. I’ll long for the days when I tried on clothes for a living. When I finally do publish my first book, I’m sure I will start thinking about what the next one should be.
The cycle never seems to end. When are we ever happy with what is? Without immediately trying to get to the next step?
So today I am trying to remain completely present in what life currently looks like with no attachment to all that is still to come…or not to come…or might come.
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“True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.”
Lucius Annaeus Seneca
365til30.com 
Beautiful post and Great Reminder 🙂 I did not think at this step of my life I would be considering downsizing my life – shedding 5000 pounds of stuff, moving cross country from West Coast to Southeast Coast, looking for a maintenance free home that has the space we need to live on a smaller scale, being present and positive and taking in the good each and every day, health, wellness, richness and happiness, etc. It feels so AMAZING to live this life – pinch me!
Happy Day – Enjoy 🙂
You always have such a positive way about you. I love it. You certainly have the right idea! Your new chapter sounds lovely. I love that you are downsizing! I can’t wait to follow along on your journey. Sending you positive thoughts during the transition! Happy day to you too!! 🙂
Thank you so much – appreciate the sweet, kind words 🙂 I think it comes from both of us almost losing our moms at an early age (his mom when he was 15 and me at 19). We learned pretty quickly how short life can be and how to see the good and the positive! Happy Weekend – Enjoy 🙂
Kate, I’ve been following your blog for some time now and I have really enjoyed every single posting. But this one, I think by far is my favorite. For a while now I have been dealing a lot with postpartum anxiety mostly because of all the change in my life in such a short period of time. I became a mom for the first time, my husband and I moved in with my parents (from the city to suburbia) and I’m dealing with an extremely stressful job while wondering if I am making the right choices as a mom. There are days that I long to be back in my old apartment, thinking of what my life once was and wishing to go back there. Just like you said, the simplicity of it all. But then I stop and I look at my beautiful baby girl and have to remind myself that my life is fuller and richer today than it was yesterday. That I have a wonderful husband and a goofy frenchie by my side and now this little family that we created is the only thing that matters in life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Not to live in the past and not to see into the future but to live in this very moment. Thank you for writing this. It was an extra reminder in my inbox that in fact things are perfect at this very second.
Ines, I am so touched by your words. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. You certainly have had a lot of changes recently! What a whirlwind. Your life sounds incredibly full, rich and joyful. Although, I’m sure somedays you wish you could hit “pause”. So sorry to hear about the postpartum anxiety. I haven’t had a baby but I know regular anxiety quite well and it can be such a difficult thing to navigate. Sending you positive thoughts 🙂
It was so good to read this today. I am always thinking about what’s next. I know I do it and I don’t like that I do it but that doesn’t seem to stop me. All I ever wanted to do was move out of Philadelphia and now that I’m out all I want to do is go back. I remember thinking that my daughter drove me crazy and wouldn’t life be simpler when she was older and now she is 21 and if I could turn back the clock to her as a 4 year old I would in a second.
I’ve been trying to condition myself to take a look around and say the things I’m happy about, for instance, I love the house I’m living in so instead of always thinking about moving, I’m trying to organize our space in a way that makes me happy.
And I have been trying to be as present as possible with my younger daughter and enjoy all the little girl things that I feel like I missed with my first.
It’s hard sometimes but it’s definitely important!
Maria, as always I love reading your comments! It’s so hard not to think about what’s next, right? Like almost impossible. I love that you are focusing on your home. Organizing the space to bring you more happiness. I need to do more of that. Our office is still in transition and we’ve lived her for over two years! 🙂
This is such a great reminder Kate. We could all benefit from living in the moment a little more. So much of our lives, we spending wishing for something else, rather than taking time to be grateful for where we are right now. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for your thoughtful comment, Lynn!
Truth!
Oh girl, you know this speaks right to me!! I, therefore, have nothing by way of advice to offer except to reassure you that you are not alone in this. Here is to remembering to stay present and enjoy every single step of the journey, however it may look. (By which I mean here’s to constant low level panic peppered with occasional moments of clarity and peace but TRYING as best we can to enjoy the ride!! I think that’s what counts.) I think you’re GREAT.
“By which I mean here’s to constant low level panic peppered with occasional moments of clarity and peace but TRYING as best we can to enjoy the ride!! I think that’s what counts.” – HAAAAAAA you always get an audible laugh from me. I think you’re GREAT 🙂
LOVE!!! 🎉💕🍹
thank you!!!!! 🙂
Hey Kate!! Love all of your posts and I read them all ❤ this one really spoke to me though because I'm guilty of doing just this!! Always wanting to know what's next! I have ZERO patience!….like none!! It's actually apart of my character that drives me crazy!! you can imagine my poor boyfriend who's the complete opposite and has all the patience in the world!! I need to fill up all my weekends and I'm always planning something! (I'm a wedding planner so that could have something to do with it)…anyway just wanted to say how much I loved this post because I can relate to it so much!! thank you for pointing out what we all know…how important it is to live in the moment and not think about the future so much and what's next!! Learn how to go with the flow a little more and be present!!! Your writing is simply amazing!! I always enjoy it!
Keep on enjoying what left of this beautiful summer..
Maria xox
Awe thanks, Maria. I’m so happy to know I am not alone! I too always want to know what’s next. I have to remind myself that part of the magic of life is not always knowing. Life feels like such an adventure when I stop trying to control everything:)
I hope you keep on enjoying what’s left of this beautiful summer too.
xo
That present moment is an elusive thing! It’s so crazy how we tend to always be looking forward to what might come next, but that slowing down and just being is an even bigger and better gift. Keep soaking up your moments and sharing your beautiful thoughts with us. Loved loved loved this post! xo