At a recent session with my therapist we were discussing the importance of routines. Especially for people like me who crave order- I find that a sense of order really helps me thwart off anxiety. When listing the things I would like to incorporate into my daily “morning” routine, a 3 mile walk with Frankie was at the top of my list. There is nothing I love more than getting out into the fresh air with music in my ears and my pup by my side. It’s so important for my head space that I move my body first thing- it helps me feel positive, energized & present.
My therapist asked, “Why then, if you know this do you not make time for it every single morning?”
I thought about it for a minute and then said, “Well, sometimes Frank doesn’t get up in time for me to fit in before I have to go to work.”
As I said it…I could hear how ridiculous I sounded.
“So you’re on your dogs schedule? Shouldn’t he be on yours?” she said rather amused.
Trying to appear less insane than I clearly am…I said, “Well, yeah…I guess I see your point. But he’s almost impossible to move when he’s sleeping.” while taking a sip of my latte
Warmly yet firmly she said, “You have to make yourself happy first, Kate. If you’re not doing that each day, you’re not doing anyone else any good either and it’s only going to get harder when you have children. You must put yourself first, then you can take care of everyone else.”
As foreign as the concept sounded, I knew she was right. I was suddenly reminded of when the stewardess announces before take-off that in the event of an emergency, you must put your own oxygen mask on first before helping those around you.
With that said I went home and began working on a morning and evening routine for myself. One that would make me want to pop out of bed in the morning and one that would make me feel peaceful in the evening. Below you can see what I came up with. Granted, I don’t adhere to it perfectly every single day (life is always in flux…especially as a freelancer) but overall I have been doing a pretty good job sticking to it and I can definitely feel the difference.
morning routine
6:00am_ wake (this was much easier to do before the time change. I might need to revise this to a later time…it’s impossible for me to get out of bed when it is still dark)
6:15am_ morning pages (I write three stream of conscious pages about anything and everything. Literally whatever comes into my mind), my morning prayer (you can see it below), my morning affirmations (you can see them below) & meditation (even if only for a minute although five minutes is my goal)
6:45_ coffee with Brian before he leaves for work
7:15_ three-mile walk with Frankie
8:30_ house sweep (things like make the bed, empty the dish washer…blah blah blah)
8:45_ shower & get ready
9:30_ out of the house to a client or at my desk to work
evening routine
6:00pm_ evening walk with Frankie
6:30pm_ make dinner/ watch the news
7-9:30pm_ eat dinner, hang with Bri & watch tv
9:30pm_ daily gratitude list & read
10:30pm_ sleep!
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my morning prayer – a slightly revised version of the St. Francis prayer
Make me a channel of thy peace,
that where there is hatred, I may bring love;
that where there is discord, I may bring harmony;
that where there is error, I may bring truth;
that where there is doubt, I may bring faith;
that where there is despair, I may bring hope;
that where there are shadows, I may bring light;
that where there is sadness, I may bring joy;
grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted;
to understand, than to be understood;
to love, than to be loved.
for it is by self-forgetting that one finds.
It is by forgiving that one is forgiven.
my morning affirmations
“Every Cell in my body vibrates with energy and health”
“I will accomplish my goals today”
“I prosper wherever I turn and I know that I deserve prosperity of all kinds”
“The more grateful I am, the more reasons I find to be grateful”
“I express my needs and feelings”
“I am my own unique self – special, creative and wonderful”
“My life is a joy filled with love, fun and friendship all I need do is stop all criticism, forgive, relax and be open.”
“I choose love, joy and freedom, open my heart and allow wonderful things to flow into my life.”
“I trust in the process of life”
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So there you have it! Do any of you guys have a morning or evening routine?? I would love to hear about them if you do!
365til30.com 
Both of your routines sound wonderful. I would love to be that on the ball. Let’s see, my morning routine starts at 6:00am. I get up and get berthing prepared for my daughter to get ready for school. Once I get her up, no later than 6:15, I help her get dressed and I do her hair-she always has a different hairstyle in mind. We are downstairs by 6:30 and we have breakfast. My husband will have already gotten up and dressed and made his lunch and my daughter’s lunch. After we eat breakfast we all sit together and catch something silly on TV before they are out the door at 7. Once they leave, I straighten up, turn every big off and usually I go back to sleep for another hour. Around 8, I get back up and make coffee and get myself into the mindset of working so that I can log into my computer and my work computer which is located in Philly (I’m in Florida), and get my work day started.
The evening routine starts around 4:30. I get my daughter into the shower. At 5, I help my daughter with her homework while I’m finishing up my work for the day. 6:30 we have dinner which my husband usually makes. 8:00 my daughter and I take turns reading and she falls asleep by 8:30-9:00. Once she is asleep, I sit up watching all the shows I follow and do all the fun stuff on the computer I don’t get to do when I am working. And I finish up by reading a chapter or two of the current book I’m reading, right now it is a biography on Zelda Fitzgerald.
But there is so much I would rather do. Before I had spine surgery I would do yoga and meditate and take walks but since my surgery I haven’t done any of it because I am not healing properly and I am in so much pain. I miss those parts of my routine.
Your routines sound so orderly and so spiritual! I wish mine were as peaceful.
Mine goes a bit like this:
8:00 AM alarm goes off, I ignore it.
8:15-8:30 AM Debate about getting out of bed.
8:30 AM Grudgingly get out of bed, try to decide outfit for the day.
8:40-9:00 or 9:15 (this varies every morning) Get dressed, eat breakfast, make lunch to bring to work, make bed, put on make up, brush teeth and hair, put in contacts etc. etc.
9:00-9:30 AM Make it out of the apartment to head to subway and go to work.
I might try going to some early morning yoga classes. You’ve inspired me. But not tomorrow morning…
Having this routine, and keeping it, will help immensely for the day when a human child joins Frank, in your realm of responsibility.
Home schooling comes with its own special demands and then to add to that I have a husband that comes and goes for around six weeks at a time so that really adds interest to the mix! When he is home, all else is set aside for a bit in the early morning as we hang out together with coffee in bed. It is my favourite time of the day! Your focus on ‘doing’ is great. This is the type of mindfulness that although not always easy to follow, I feel is important to keep working on!
we are so much alike that it’s scary! my anxiety craves routines, mantras, and predictability too. my routine is going through a massive change as you know 🙂 but it includes quiet time, podcasts, yoga, and tea in the mornings. i would love to include journaling & prayer time as well. (i LOVE the prayer of st. francis!) the evenings are for long walks, time with matt, netflix and a book in bed while i pump.
I can completely relate. I saw my therapist a couple of months ago and she mentioned how important routine + schedule + predictably are for my personality. I’m still trying to figure out what that all looks like for my life right now (Charlotte keeps changing and, with that, so does my morning/evening routine.) I need to sit down and right out my plan and just stick with it as much as possible. I tend to have more anxiety and stress when I’m not with a disciplined routine (I also tend to obsess over things more often because I have too much unscheduled time on my hands. I.E. I obsess over food + weight loss + my body because I don’t fill my mind with productive things.) I’m so glad the weather is starting to get warmer. It has allowed me to get back to walks with Charlotte + Roscoe! Walks in the mornings + evenings are probably the thing I’ve missed the most over the past couple of months!
LOVE this! Listen to your therapist about “you must put yourself first…” It’s the best thing a therapist said to me. I had to learn that this is not an act of selfishness, it is essential. xo