It’s going to be a rather quiet Halloween at the Glodney residence tonight. We will most likely be staying in with takeout, wine & a movie- ideally a scary movie but that’s up in the air. Every time I tell Brian I want to watch a scary movie he says he doesn’t see the point considering I always make him turn it off twenty minutes in. I am way more of a badass in my mind than I am in reality. We did celebrate Halloween a few nights ago by carving our first pumpkin together. I can’t even remember the last time I carved a pumpkin. I’m sure I must have carved one as a kid but I honestly can’t recall. So carving a pumpkin has been a HUGE thing on my holiday to do list.
On Sunday afternoon we brought Frankie to our local pumpkin patch to pick out the perfect one (complete with a large stem per Brian’s request. I couldn’t tell you why). Once we settled on one we hurried home to create our masterpiece. I have to say I am actually rather impressed with our pumpkin carving abilities. Look how scary that thing turned out! It was creepy.
Sadly, our creepy pumpkin only lasted a few days. Is that normal? This being my first pumpkin carving rodeo and all, I assumed it was going to last at least a week? But after three measly days our pumpkin had a bunch of fury mold coming out of all the open crevasses’. GROSS! In an attempt to make him last until at least Halloween I cleaned him up with a paper towel and moved him from our kitchen island to the front doorstep. The next day I came home to a huge stream of liquid coming out of its base. SO GROSS. Considering we share a landing with three other units I knew I couldn’t wait until Brian got home later that evening and had to discard of it myself.
So, I put my big girl pants on, grabbed a pair of yellow kitchen gloves and handled the situation. I carefully picked the pumpkin up and made the journey to the outside trash shoot. Once I made it there I thought…well, now what? So, I set the oozing pumpkin down for a minute to think about my options. How I was supposed to pick up the thirty pound oozing pumpkin and hold the trash shoot open with only two hands? After a few minutes I decided I would use my foot to hold open the trash shoot door while bending down and picking up the pumpkin (thanks yoga for making this an option!). Best laid plans, eh? Thankfully there are no photos of what happened next. With my leg stretched and raised above my head holding the trash shoot open I reached down and made my move. I got as far as my waist before the pumpkin literally disintegrated all over me…covering me with mold, smelly liquid and chunks of pumpkin matter in the process.
This is when I began to dry heave.
I’m pretty sure I can handle any horror film that Bri puts on tonight because that shit was the most disturbing thing I have ever experienced.
My pumpkin carving days may have been short-lived.