Brian and I are a little over a month away from celebrating our first wedding anniversary. I cannot believe it’s been a year!? I’m not sure where the time has gone. Considering our 1st anniversary is nearing I thought it was about time I went through the tedious process of changing my last name. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to become Kate Glodney. I’ve unofficially been “Kate Glodney” since the day we got married. I was, instead, overwhelmed by all the paperwork and various government offices I would have to visit to make it official. I mean who elects to go to the DMV, right?
Lucky for lazy people like me, places like Kleinfeld exist and for a fee of fifty dollars they send you a packet in the mail with all the various government paperwork filled out for you. Well, minus sensitive info such as social security numbers. The packet also comes with very detailed step by step instructions on how to do it all. Perfect for people like me.
When I received the package in the mail….I thought…it would be pretty hard for me to F this up!…Glodney here I come!
First up, changing my name with the Social Security office. I didn’t make an appointment and instead went on a whim after a meeting with a client finished early. Let’s just say I’ve had better ideas. The wait time was 3 1/2 hours. To make matters worse my cell phone was dead and I didn’t have a book with me. Lesson learned…planning ahead can be beneficial! I was about to turn around and leave but part of me knew that if I did, there was a very good chance I wasn’t coming back.
So I waited.
Lucky for me the West LA Social Security office brings out some truly interesting people so, I survived the wait time by people watching and making up elaborate stories about their lives. I especially enjoyed the angry Russian woman who stood up every five minutes and announced to the obviously uninterested room that the wait time at this office was INSANE.
After many hours of this, my number was finally called. Once I sat down with an actual person the process was very fast and ten minutes later I was walking out of the Social Security Administration as….Kate Glodney.
The next stop on the name changing tour was The Department Of Motor Vehicles. This time I wised up and made an appointment before going. Equipped with my shiny new Social Security Card, our marriage license & all the finished DMV paperwork (typed rather than written, no less) I confidently walked in and got into the “appointment” line, which was two deep rather than fifty deep like the “no appointment” line. Clearly, I was on my game that day. I even managed to blow my hair out and wear a cute dress (rather than my normal jeans, t-shirt and messy hair in bun look) knowing I would be taking a new license photo that day.
This time I barely had a moment to sit down before my number was called. Winning! I walked up to the window with my handy-dandy name change folder and a big smile spread across my face. Lydia, the rather gruff lady behind the counter, dressed in a bright purple dress and wearing sparkly big earrings, that swung back and forth as she spoke, grabbed my paperwork and began working on entering my information.
To fill the time, I made small talk with the nice gentleman next to me about the heat wave we had been having in Los Angeles, all while listening to Lydia’s long nails clack against the keyboard.
Suddenly, Lydia’s nails came to a halt.
Oh, done already! I thought! Pays to be on top of things!
I turned towards Lydia and watched as her eyes narrowed at the computer screen.
Never a good sign.
“I’m sorry ma’am but I can’t put your paper work through at this time.” Lydia announced
“And why is that?” I asked
“Well, because you have a failure to appear and a warrant out for your arrest in Georgia, ma’am.” Lydia said loudly (and a bit too loudly if you ask me)
I glanced over at the kind gentleman I was speaking to with a moment prior. His gregarious smile had faded and had been replaced with…well, judgement….with maybe a sprinkle of intrigue?
I was about to dramatically yell…”that’s impossible…I’ve never even been to Georgia!!” when suddenly it all came back to me…oh yes…I most certainly have been to Georgia. Three years ago when I was driving across the country with Rachel during my 365 til 30 year and I did in fact get a speeding ticket…in Georgia.
One in which I ignored because well, it was very expensive and I stupidly thought…when am I ever going to be driving in Georgia again???
I guess I never thought about what happens when you don’t pay speeding tickets in other states.
I glanced back at the man next to me and then back to Lydia, deciding it was the perfect time to put my big sunglasses back on.
I leaned into the window and causally asked, “Ok, so Lydia, now what???“
“Well, you’re going to have to clear this up with Georgia, Ma’am. Lucky for you this ticket only affects you in Georgia. There is nothing I can do for you here. I can’t even tell you how much you owe at this point. But I’m sorry but there is NO way you are changing your last name to Glodney today.”
Damn you, past!
When I got in the car I decided it was best to text Brian at work with the news rather than come clean about it over dinner. I mean who wants to have the “I have a warrant for my arrest in Georgia” conversation with their husband over a roast chicken, you know?
So, I couldn’t change my name with the DMV today because of my failure to appear for a speeding ticket in Georgia. Kinda funny but NOT.
Does that mean you have a warrant????
Well yeah, but only in Georgia…I just need to pay the ticket for it all to get cleared.
How much is the ticket now???
I don’t know. I have to call Georgia. Any interest in a road trip to Georgia??
hahahahah. no not anymore. I don’t need you being arrested.
The text admission went well don’t you think?
Top of my to-do list this week….clear name in Georgia. Le sigh
* this post was clearly not sponsored by Kleinfeld name change *