61

9 Sep

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I woke up at four in the morning today and not because I wanted to. Sometimes I don’t even realize that i’m even stressed or overwhelmed until the quiet of the night finds me. When I wake up in the dark silence of my bed and my head won’t stop running through fears, stresses, concerns and regrets. This morning I was filled with thoughts about money stresses (ones that haven’t even happened yet but what if? You know?), wedding stresses (will this day actually go smoothly?) and work stresses (mostly fears that certain things won’t turn out the way I wish and hope) Everything felt so mind numbingly overwhelming in that moment. I could feel my breath quicken.  My brows begin to furrow. I rolled over and placed my hand on Brian’s and listened to him breathe peacefully. I realized in that moment how grateful I am to have a life partner. It’s such a gift. A few years ago I remember waking up with some of those same scary thoughts running through my head in the dark of the night and feeling so alone in it all. No matter how scary the unknown feels sometimes having a partner to hold your hand through it makes such a difference. Even if he doesn’t know he’s holding your hand in that moment. It still counts.

When I finally rolled out of bed and to my computer to tackle some emails I received two emails that made me smile. Sometimes the universe knows how to remind you everything is indeed ok. Your are safe. Things are always working behind the scenes. And to Trust. Stay in the flow.

One was from a new friend and it read…

“Hope the wedding countdown isn’t making you too crazy. Two days before my wedding I woke up to find that in my sleep I had submersed my cell phone in a cup of tea on my nightstand. I hadn’t backed it up in almost a year!!!! I knew then that it was a message to myself that I just needed to LET GO. I had all these expectations of what the week before my wedding should look & feel like and I realized that I needed to stop trying to make everything fit those ideals. I was holding the week hostage & the moment I let that go I allowed the spontaneous beauty of chaos to take me on a great adventure that was so much more real & vivid than anything I could have ever planned. It wasn’t always perfect, but it was rooted in truth & unconditional love…. and isn’t that just what marriage is all about?!!”
Seriously, it’s like she knew I needed to hear exactly that. Thank you, B.
The other was my morning wake up email from The Universe and it read…
Kate, when it comes to pursuing the life of your dreams, you can look at it like this:Best case scenario… the sun, the moon, and the stars. Worst case scenario… the sun, the moon, and the stars.Tallyho,
The Universe
Grateful for the simple reminders today.
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3 Responses to “61”

  1. SewHaute September 9, 2013 at 8:20 pm #

    “No matter how scary the unknown feels sometimes having a partner to hold your hand through it makes such a difference.” ❤ Even if he doesn't know he's holding your hand… :')

  2. barbarapotter September 9, 2013 at 8:43 pm #

    Take a deep breath it will always work out. This I know and keep holding that hand:)

  3. hunting for bliss September 10, 2013 at 10:59 am #

    I love getting those faith-renewing reminders ❤

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