On Sunday, Brian and I attended a brunch celebrating the 5oth wedding anniversary of his extended family members, Roberta and Larry. It was exactly what you would expect from such an event, a room filled with lots of love, laughter, tears and screaming kids.
Thankfully, they served mimosas and thankfully Brian’s parents, Steve & Zina and Aunt and Uncle, Carole & Michael, sat at a table with us. They are a seriously fun bunch, each one of them comes equipped with their own wicked sense of humor. They have always made me feel accepted, appreciated and loved. Believe me, I know how lucky I am; I’ve heard horror stories from people who dislike their future family.
They are also incredibly generous toward me, treating me as if I was their own. Early in our relationship, they brought me along on a family vacation to Nicaragua for Zina’s 60th birthday. Pretty nice, huh? I fell in love with his parents somewhere between the late night games of cards with his Dad and the drinks by the pool with his Mom. They are a solid family and my life has been made richer by having them in my life.
Toward the end of the 50th anniversary brunch, Roberta, the guest of honor, gave a speech, during which she thanked everyone for being there, including the Glodney’s- Steve, Zina, Michael, Carol, Brian & Kate. When I heard the name Kate coupled with Glodney, I thought, who? Seriously, for a split second, I thought who are they talking about?? Then I realized, oh, she meant me. I’m the Kate Glodney she’s talking about.
Well, not officially yet but I guess the crossover has begun. I am considered part of the Glodney family now, a family I am honored to be part of but it still feels kinda strange.
With all the wedding planning hoopla, I hadn’t really being doing much thinking about the whole name changing thing. Part of me thinks there is something so archaic about it. I mean, why doesn’t Brian just take my last name? Brian McClafferty. HA. I also think it’s funny for anyone to have to change their name. I mean, why? I thought about hyphenating it but I think Kate McClafferty-Glodney is a bit much.
Then I got to thinking about when we have kids and how I want our home to be a home of Glodney’s. I want us to walk in the room and be “The Glodney’s”. I want us to be a team.
So, yes, after doing some thinking, I’ve decided that I am going to change my name. Kate Glodney. It has a nice ring to it right?
What are all of your thoughts on the name changing thing? Did you? Would you?
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I come from a family of 4 girls. The response I get from that everytime I tell someone is…”Oh your poor father…” ..I know he probably wanted to have a boy but it just wasn’t in the cards for him and I also do know he doesn’t mind one bit having 4 girls!..Yes we drove him a tiny bit crazy (probably myself the most as a teen) but i think we all turned out great…with the help of my mother of course. I wouldn’t change my last name because my father has no brothers. So for his family name to continue he would have had to have a boy but again, it didn’t happen. So I chose to keep my last name for as long as I live in honor of my dad! We always say he got two grandsons instead and we all know the grandparents spoil them more than the parents do so he’s a happy man. My sister didn’t change her last name and her two sons have my brother in laws last name! I could never imagine changing my name either because it kinda breaks my heart that our family name has stopped!! There is another “Biancucci” name in town but they aren’t related to us (maybe somewhere down the line but somewhere far down the line) so I don’t think it counts! I’ll forever be Maria Biancucci…but yes…Kate Glodney has a lovely ring to it 🙂
it’s tough. i literally burst into tears when i filled out the marriage application because i am SO close to my fam and we discussed me keeping my last name.
what I decided:
by taking on his name we become our own little family – as we are now and as we have kiddos. it felt like a significant sacrifice of sorts but with it comes a lifetime of loyalty, unconditional love, and hard work. i wanted to honor him and his family, and decided to keep “LaRue” as my middle name. so now i have the longest name ever : Mary Elizabeth LaRue Aporta. but i’ll keep going by LaRue professionally.
there’s no right choice. just what feels right for you guys!!!
xoxo
Awww I love this post! And yes – thank goodness for amazing in-laws. I feel very blessed to have a pair that I adore.
I’m doing the same: Taking his name legally/socially; keeping my last name on the professional front.
Personally, I like the combo of McClafferty + Glodney to a short and sweet “McG”! 😉 Teasing, teasing!
McG!!! ha!
Brian McClafferty lolllll. It’s a strange hung for me to consider too. I LOVE my last name. But I guess my card is up 😦
First, I do know a guy who took his wife’s name. He felt more connected to her family than his own and changed it!
I think the changing of a name is such a pain! I went through a serious identity crisis with my first marriage, and the name changes was a big part of it. I’d signed my name for SO LONG in one way, and to change it felt like removing a part of me! This time, changing my name had more meaning for me. I was super proud to take John’s last name and there’s something magical about joining families. The bottom line is that your name doesn’t define who you are- your family roots are still there. But I do think taking a new name adds a bit of romance and significance- it makes going from two separate people into a partnership a bit more REAL.
I. Am. So. Excited for you!!!
I’m sure it’s a beautiful moment 🙂 Let go and be one with your husband in every sense of the word.
LOVE this post! I have a difficult time about the name change (not that I have a name to change mine TO) because I have worked my whole life to become Dr. Kajlich and feel its a kind of tribute to my late father (also Dr. K). I have so much pride in my family and my heritage, but if becoming Anya (fill in future husband’s name here) could change who i really am, then I’m not doing something right! I love “Kate Glodney” and all that she stands for… As its not really much of a leap from who Kate McClafferty, now is it?!
Hi Kate,
I changed my name because I wanted to have the name of my new husband as I was a widow. My first marriage was in 69. I know Jen did not change her name originally when becoming an actress because she waned to honor her Dad Melvin David Pasitloff who passed away in 1983. There is no one else in his family who has that name at all. He had one sister and when his father came over from Europe they misspelled the name at Ellis Island Postiloff to Pastiloff and it stayed that way…hence….no others around. When she has children we will see what she does. Everyone has their own reasons and I think whatever your heart feels is right is what you should do. There is no wrong here:)
Will not be changing my name. 🙂 Though I wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of both of us changing our names to something entirely new! He wants to keep his name, though, so I figure I have the right to keep mine as well.
I’m not sure whether I will change my name. I’ve toyed with it and I guess it depends what the last name is. My first name is very French and it sounds horrible when paired with an Anglo Saxon name. Amelie Smith? Amelie Richardson? Amelie Johnson? Not a fan! My last name is French and there are no boys in the family so I may well keep it. We’ll see. 🙂
I really struggled with this before Trev and I got married because, well, I’m a traditionalist and I wanted us to share a name for the same reasons that you mentioned.
But there was this piece of me that felt like I’d be lost. My maiden name was Kincheloe and everyone called me “Kinch.” There are so many Sarahs, but I was always unique when I was “Kinch.” When I married into Trev’s family, I was the fourth Sarah Noel in his ACTUAL family. I can only imagine how many of us there are in the world.
Ultimately, though, I wanted to feel unified and to feel differently and to feel like we stood together and like we were making something together. I guess I realized that to move forward and to do that, it would be a little bit sacrificial; I would have to give some things up. But it was just trading it in for something greater and better.
Thanks ladies for all your thoughts on the subject! Such a hard decision for me as well. I LOVE McClafferty and everything it represents- my father, my family in Delaware and heritage in Ireland. I will always be a McClafferty at heart:)
Kate Glodney fits you perfectly. Love it.
I changed my name and never thought about it. When I did think about it, I wondered what all the commotion was about trading one man’s name for another (father’s for husband’s). Ideally, I would choose the maiden name of my mother.
I’m not married, but most of my friends changed their last name. Legally, they use their maiden name as their middle and husband’s last. Professionally, kept their maiden.