project 30 – Anya

I actually have to credit Brian for bringing Anya into my life! They went to college at Cal Poly together and have been best buds ever since. Brian has seriously good taste in friends because I LOVE this woman. She’s passionate, creative, smart, brave, spiritual, hysterical (I mean, doesn’t the picture above say it all?) and just an all around good human. I hope you enjoy her answers as much as I did. They made me laugh and cry and be thankful for this ride we call life.

Anya, 31

What would your 30 something self tell your 20 something self if you could?

You will endure more than you ever thought possible and you will survive. Stay TRUE to yourself and LISTEN to your gut. It was ALWAYS right (self-righteous biotch). And keep telling your family that you love them… it will make some of that struggle a little bit easier!

What do you wish you took more seriously in your 20’s?

Nothing. When we take ourselves or life too seriously, we miss out on the greatest moments and some amazingly healing laughter!

What do you wish you took less seriously in your 20’s?

Boys… sorry, I mean men! Wait… no I didn’t! BOYS! BOYS! BOYS! I wish I’d spent less time looking for “Mr. Right,” had spent less energy on the “Mr. Right Nows” and more time discovering Miss Anya!

Favorite memory from your 20’s?

Not to be tear-inducing, but the last fight I had with my father. We were in the kitchen and he was ticked off because I didn’t do the dishes the nano-second I finished eating off of them or something kitchen-clean-up related as was usual! Here I am, 28 years old, his long-lost daughter visiting from my current life abroad and he rips into me over some mundane chore I didn’t even do when I was 10! The best part is that he got so angry he called me an idiot! It sounds so horrible, but I had to burst out laughing because I know with every inch of my being that he’s never thought of me as less than intelligent and capable. It was so funny to me that his anger caused him to revert to childish name-calling and it broke the back-and-forth of our argument. It also led to that feeling of closeness you only achieve with your parents once you’ve pushed each other too far and scratched the other raw. He has been gone two and a half years, but I will never forget his temper, his love of a clean kitchen, and my certainty that my father loved me and was heart-crushingly proud of who I had become. (I failed… totally cried through writing this. I miss him so much still and I hear it just gets worse… ok Anya, see #1 again)

In your early 20’s where did you think you would be (work, live etc) by 30?

I was sure I’d be married or in a serious relationship, finally out of school working with the top veterinarians working in equine surgery or theriogenology (fixing horses or making new little ones), and living in California in a hot body and with money to spare!

And where were you by 30? What did your life look like?

I was in school. Actually, my 30th birthday was right before I started a new degree at a new school… something I have had a LOT of practice doing! I was embarking on a very new frontier as a veterinarian (I’d at least gotten THAT degree done)! I was single for about a week… then in the worst relationship I have ever entered, working at a restaurant part-time to supplement more student loans, in a new town that I was pretty sure I didn’t want to stay in… and I was pretty happy!

Were you ever worried that it wouldn’t all fall into place?

Constantly, but I kept going! That definitely counts for something! The one thing I make sure I take with me everywhere I go is hope. I keep hopeful that I will one day be more comfortable in my own skin, find a city or piece of land that really feels like home, make a difference… a real difference in the lives of animals, and maybe even have my very own love story. Each day is a gift and an adventure, so hope keeps my eyes and ears open and my heart excited for whatever may come my way!

What is the greatest gift about being a woman in your 30’s?

Youth! I am only in my 30s and pretty sure I am only improving as a woman, a citizen, a family member or friend, and am more excited about my career than ever! Women at this age have is so great these days because we aren’t expected to be experienced wives and mothers of 3 at 30 anymore (thanks GOODness)! We spread our wings in our 20s, but are really only just learning how to ride the wind and enjoy it in our 30s!

When you look out onto the horizon. What do you hope your life looks like at 40?

Well, first of all I hope I LOOK like my mother did in her 40s! She looked maybe 28… that lucky girl still looks amazing! I am learning to not plan it out too carefully. I hope I am still hopeful, still idealistic, and still driven to use my skills for good. If I get all nasty and angry, have let the struggles get me down (by not remembering #1) or have lost my hope, you have my permission to give me a hearty slap across my (botox free) face! Life has been very good to me so far and I’m hoping from here until 40 continues the current trend.

What’s a quote/ saying you try to live your life by? “

Be BOLD and mighty forces will come to your aid!” -Goethe 

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Tags: 365 til, 365 til 30, cool woman, Explore, goals, Gratitude, growth, happy, Inspiration, Joy, Kate McClafferty, lessons, project 30's, q & a with woman in their 30's, turning 30, universe, woman in their 30's