21 Feb

Coming off yesterday’s post, I am sure this will NOT come as a surprise to you- I have hit a bit of a midlife crisis with 365 til 30. Or, as Maggi, my life coach so kindly put it- “I think 365 til 30 is starting to run you now, instead of you running it”. Ouch. What a painful thing to hear but so true. The ten goals that gave me SOOOOO much joy 6 months ago have started to feel like chores- totally not the point of this project! Maggi has urged me to remember why I originally wanted to accomplish these goals and to focus on the joy and excitement the thought of experiencing them brought me.

 When I started 365 til 30 six months ago,  I was off and running right out of the gate. Full of excitement and wonder, I happily embarked on the adventure of camping and Tassajara. After accomplishing them I moved onto my other goals for the year- learn to cook, master the tango, speak French fluently, work with my favorite websites, publish my writing (I have a book proposal floating around at a publisher…fingers crossed) and volunteer. I have realized these goals are less finite and instead are an ongoing process. I am constantly tending to them.

The last two goals…Drive Across the USA (which I am in the process of planning for April) and getting Frank, my French Bulldog (which will happen when we move) are goals that I am still working towards. With the road trip fast approaching I happen to think about it all the time. I am DYING with excitement to drive across the USA with my girlfriend Rachel– she is the perfect friend to do this with and equally excited! This goal has always been one of my favorites on the list because it’s something I have dreamed of doing since I was little girl and I can’t believe I’m finally going to do it! As the trip approaches though I have started to feel a bit anxious about it. When I put it on the list I always wondered how I would take the time off to do it right. It’s not like it’s ever really convenient to leave your life for 3-4 weeks…work and money are valid concerns. My remedy for the fear is to remember the joy the idea of accomplishing it brings me and keep putting one foot in front of the other.

With so much on my plate I decided I needed a focused plan towards finding the joy in the goals again.

I start another round of tango classes on Monday the 27th for 6 weeks and I will not skip one class…not one!

I will find one new exciting dish a week to learn! (last night it was fish provencal! It was soooooooooo gooooood- post coming!)

I will continue my volunteer work at PATH once a week.

I will spend 4 hours a week practicing my French in preparation for my trip to Paris in July!!!

I will finalize all the details for our road trip from a joyful place instead of an anxious place so that we are ready to embark on the journey in April!!

I will stay positive and grateful about the fact that my book proposal is floating around  in the world instead of anxious.

I will re-stratagize my approach for working with Take Part and Explore- I have had sooooo many meetings with both of them and feel like the timing has been off…but maybe I need to re-think my approach.

I will commit to weekly sessions with Maggi starting this week. It doesn’t matter how busy I am! They will be a priority because they always keep me focused, calm, joyful and on-track.

Oh, and most importantly, I will commit to being grateful and enjoy the process….otherwise what the hell is the point right??!


Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death.

Anais Nin


13 Responses to “138”

  1. Sara February 21, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    Hi Kate,
    LOVE the Anais Nin quote!! Many blessings as you remember the joy & love in your process and goals ❤
    Mine for the next month – firm up plans to live at the beach for the month of April! (also with joy and not anxiety), get the marketing materials & website set up for the yoga/fundraising organization I'm helping to start, and spend 20 minutes in meditation/gratitude practice every night 🙂

    • katemcclafferty February 21, 2012 at 3:31 pm #

      Sara I love your goals!! I want to hear more about living at the beach for a month…what a lovely idea!! I too need to find my mediation practice again…you’ve inspired me. Thank you:)

  2. itsakoolife February 21, 2012 at 1:01 pm #

    Love this, Kate. Especially love the quote at the end. Love that you are investing in your self and your journey by plugging into that life coach. Sounds like she helps you breathe and don’t we all need to breathe?

    I struggle very much with trying to do everything I attempt perfectly. Lately I have been reading about writing and how much simply comes down to practice, whether the results are what I would like them to be or not. It occurred to me that I would probably be a lot less stressed if I looked at life as practice, too. Better for me to jump in and have a go than sit on the sidelines and wait until I can do it well. What you have going on 365til30 always reminds me of the value of jumping in and having a go even when I am not perfect.

    Also, if you are looking for a new meal and you want to give this a try, it is one of my personal favs from a friend of mine…..

    Barbecue chicken quesadillas with Sumpala
    Cook some chicken – a breast or two for two people (bbq or oven, doesn’t matter)
    Layer tortilla, bbq sauce, slices of chicken, cheese, and another tortilla
    Cook over skillet is my preference (with a little butter on the skillet side of tortillas), but oven or microwave works too

    Slice up a generous amount of tomatoes, taking out the seeds/juices, and put in a bowl
    Add a can of whole kernel corn
    Chop up some cilantro and add that (I like to go generous on the cilantro)
    Cover with olive oil and balsamic vinegar and mix. Those are to taste, so feel free to add as much as you like.

    I prefer my sumpala on top of my quesadilla, but my hubby eats it on the side. I find the mixture of flavors of bbq, cheese, balsamic, etc to be so tasty. If you try it, let me know how it goes!

    Your spirit that comes across on this journey and this blog is BEAUTIFUL!!!

    • katemcclafferty February 21, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

      I know isn’t that quote amazing???!!! It gave me chills. LOVED IT. Thank you for your comments as always. I love that idea of looking at life as practice. Takes the pressure off huh?! I may have to steal that.
      Love this recipe too! I am a quesadilla fan so this is right up my alley. I will be trying it and of course let you know!
      Thank you again for all your wise words, thoughts and support.

      • itsakoolife February 21, 2012 at 7:46 pm #

        Yay! You are always welcome to steal ideas from me (totally flattered!). I am a big fan of yours, so the support is easy!

  3. t February 21, 2012 at 3:12 pm #

    It might also do you well to remember that “middle age” is still a little over 12 years or so out of your grasp… =]

    • katemcclafferty February 21, 2012 at 3:24 pm #

      Very true!!! I was referring to mid-life regarding the 365 til 30 blog. I am a little over 6 months in! 🙂

  4. kodakkerouacs March 8, 2012 at 9:43 am #

    This sounds exactly like my friend and I. We are so excited to go on our road trip extravaganza! I don’t know anything that can provide the same feeling of freedom and exhilaration as driving on the open road with nowhere to be and no schedule to follow. I look forward to seeing how your trip goes 🙂

  5. Jeff March 19, 2012 at 6:09 am #

    Happy travels, Kate. It’s all a gift. The only perfection is in the striving for perfection. Wow, I hate the sort of comment that comes off guruish, but I’ll let that stand. It’s perfect. Inspired by your example, I’m pondering creating a site called 12,313till80, 80 being an arbitrary age number I’ve chosen as a possible mortal coil finish line, like those banners draped across the road marking the end of a race. And perhaps like those banners, I’ll stagger across the line and head for the refreshment tent.

  6. madforliving March 27, 2012 at 11:02 am #

    Speak French fluently is on my list as well! I just ordered Instant Immersion (similar to Rosetta Stone) but I haven’t started it yet… maybe we can help each other out (French speaking pen pals?).

    Just an idea 🙂 Good luck!


  1. practicing life « itsakoolife - February 23, 2012

    […] 138 by Kate McClafferty on her blog 365til30.com counting down her adventures the year before she turns 30   (fantastic fun – in my next life I want to be Kate) […]

  2. Dream Big: Kate McClafferty | WELL in L.A. - April 10, 2012

    […] Just so you don’t think that all of my girlfriend friendships begin online, I present to you today’s Dream Big lady, Kate McClafferty. We met over another set of shared interests: (1) food and (2) taking a cooking class with Sophie of Philosophie. I’m pretty sure my mouth was full of brassica family stir-fry cooked in coconut oil as she was telling me about her blog, 365 til 30. Kate had decided to make her 29th year and the countdown to 30 the best year of her life to date. My Type A personality was already smitten with the concept of a pre-30 bucket list. It’s been so fun watching Kate tackle her list, indulging in adventures, manifesting her wishes and knowing she’s spending her 30th in the city she loves most. […]

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