INSPIRATIONS, GRATITUDE & SURPRISES
I had a shift in perspective yesterday and it has instilled something in me that I hadn’t even noticed was missing. The shift caused me to feel tapped into the magic of it all again. You see, recently I have been feeling a bit anxious. Surprising huh?! Kate anxious!? Anyway, I have just been feeling all abuzz with emotions. Recently a string of wonderfully unexpected events have happened in regards to 365 til 30 which have made me feel like I am living in a dream world. I’m delighted but also a bit overwhelmed with excitement and fear. I guess I am excited by the events but fearful they won’t go the way I hope. What happens when our dreams actually come true? Or what if you get really close and then they don’t come true? Do you bounce back from that?
When I start to get overwhelmed with emotion I tend to focus on things that don’t matter. I spent much too long obsessing about what toe nail color to get as if the decision was going to affect the rest of my life.
I try to answer questions that don’t have answers. Like, What will my life look in 5 years? Will I be happy? Will Brian and I be happy together? Will my career be where I want it to be?
I also try to control outcomes that aren’t in my control and I have to remind myself that sadly, I am not general manager of the universe.
But, most importantly I lose sight of the magic of it all because I am too busy strangling the shit out of it.
When I start to get all jumbled up I always call my life coach Maggi. There is no one who centers me faster. She cut right to the point and asked,
“Why did you start 365 til 30, Kate?”
I thought about it for minute and thought…well this is a ridiculous question. Why is she asking me this? Haven’t we talked about 365 til 30 a million times? She knows exactly why I started 365 til 30. I decided to answer her despite my thoughts about the question.
“Well, I started 365 til 30 because I wanted to dream bigger for myself, I wanted to take life by the horns, I wanted to be present and thankful for each day and I wanted to enjoy the journey. I wanted to trust the process.”
As I said it, it hit me why she was asking me.
She said…
“Then trust the process Kate”
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“All our progress is an unfolding, like a vegetable bud. You have first an instinct, then an opinion, then a knowledge as the plant has root, bud, and fruit. Trust the instinct to the end, though you can render no reason.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
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